Sunday, June 20, 2010

My Real Life Crush

I was at the grocery store this morning and part of me was so glad to see that the cute guy that I've had a crush on for the past 8 years was working today. I can't help feeling embarrased that I go a bit ga-ga over him. He looks a little like that country singer Tim McGraw. I get kind of disappointed when he's not there which seems rather ridiculous to me.

I thought that I saw him smiling at me once 8 years ago but part of me was thinking that there's no way that someone that cute would want to even look at you. Very low self esteem. I convinced myself that I must have been imagining this. Now I'm thinking what if I had smiled back - maybe we would've eventually talked to one another and even gone on a date and perhaps become a couple. Yeah, right. Keep dreaming.

I wish that my fascination with this guy would end already. It's sort of annoying and depressing. I just can't see myself involved with any guy. He does look younger than me, maybe early 30s. Not that this matters to me , although I'm picturing my brother calling me a cougar which I'm tired of hearing. I'm sure that the cute guy must have a girlfriend or even a wife.

Oh how I hate some of the dirty thoughts that I've had about him. Sometimes I wish that he'd accidentally bump into me which seems absurd. I'm even ashamed that I get happy when I see him. I'm trying to work on the shame/guy issue with my therapist but so far I haven't made much progress there.

Mom forgot the potatoes so I volunteered to go back for them. It's so bad that part of the reason that I did so was because I was hoping to get the chance to see the cute guy again. Darn, how disappointing that he wasn't in his department near the deli counter. I hope that he hasn't seen me checking him out for this might creep him out.

7 comments:

skdd said...

I urge you to go up to him, introduce yourself and ask if he is in a relationship or married. If not, then tell him it took 8 years to ask. Then smile and walk away.

Pam@GoRetro said...

I like skdd's suggestion. What have you got to lose? Or, you could break the ice by asking him if something is in season or how to tell if a type of fruit or vegetable is fresh.

Either way, you'll gain some confidence. I am trying to push myself to talk to strange guys more and more, even if it's just to say hi and give them a smile.

Pam@GoRetro said...

P.S. I wish I had a real life crush. There's nobody at work or elsewhere that I see on a regular basis that I have a crush on. I'm mostly daydreaming about 60s singers these days.

Chelly said...

There's nothing like a good crush. Especially one that looks like Tim McGraw. The comments above offer some great advice. Remember that you're worth it and to have fun! Whatever you decide to do, we're all rooting for ya :)

LaraAnn said...

I wish that I was brave enough to do any of those things. I'd probably be too afraid to ever shop there again if I did. Thanks for your suggestions and support though. Maybe it's better just to have my crushes on stars because it's less embarrasing - it's not as if I'd ever get to be close to any of them.

Pam - I admire you for having the courage to smile at and talk to strange guys. Even the smiling part seems scary to me.

skdd said...

Well, I have a crush on Hugh Grant.

LaraAnn said...

I did enjoy a few of his movies. My crush is on another Hugh - Jackman.

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