September 11- Ginger and Buffy

 I don’t have that many pictures of my Ginger – maybe 12. No puppy ones.  She was adorable and looked a little like Benji.  The other puppy in the cage at the shelter was picking on her.  Grandma next door named her and spoiled her so much.  She liked playing with plastic soda bottles and when I took her on walks.  She definitely was my girl and my best friend.

   One time she got really sick when somehow she got the bottle of cough syrup open and drank nearly the whole bottle; poor doggie.  My dad kicked her out in the yard one day which was so mean.  Our neighbor Mrs. K saw this and yelled at him which we were glad about.

  She was such a good girl but Dad was so mean to her sometimes, probably because he was jealous of the attention that we gave her and the fact that he was kind of a miserable person.

  Mike squirted Milk Mate chocolate syrup onto Ginger once which wasn’t nice.  Jessica called her the Milk Mate dog which we did laugh about.

   I wish that I could remember more about her.  She was only 7 years old when Dad had her put to sleep.  We should’ve had her for 5 or 6 more years.  I wish that we had never taken that trip to Virginia – she might’ve gotten her sickness from the boarding place.  She might’ve just needed an antibiotic and would’ve recovered. 

  Buffy was definitely like a gift from God.  Mom and I were supposed to go to Columbus Flea Market but it was raining so we went to the pet store instead.  Mom asked if there was a girl spaniel in the cage and the salesperson said no but another one overheard us and said that there was one in the back.

   It was love at first sight. I had already picked out a name for her- Buffy Willow, after the 2 characters in the show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. My brother is actually paid for her. We had talked about getting a cocker spaniel for months before this. She quickly became a grandma’s girl. She loved playing with her pet rocks and also getting tummy rubs from us.

   I had lots of nicknames for her like Sunshine spaniel. It’s so corny that sometimes I’d sing “You Are My Sunshine” to her. Some of the others were Twinkie,   pork chop, sugar cookie, little lamb, cream puff, sweet potato, dumpling, turtle, Miss Piggy, lamb chop and Pillsbury Dough Dog. I’d call her that after rubbing her belly and making that laughing noise like the Pillsbury Dough Boy does.

   Sometimes I’d sing “My Little Buffy” to her using that song from the My Little Pony toy commercials -so cheesy. She was like our little cream colored Pony. She had a super short stub which made her even more special to us.

  We should have taken many more pictures of Buffy when she was a puppy.  She was very cute. I only have about 12 of them. One time she had something in her mouth and we thought it was a rock but when I took it out and saw that it was a big beetle I was so creeped out by this.

  She used to steal moms and my hankies sometimes and chew holes in them. We called her a hankie thief. She chewed and messed up part of the rug that Aunt Ann made for under the rocking chair.   Luckily she outgrew this stage quickly and didn’t ruin much else. She did chew the plastic nose off of my stuffed bunny too.

   Our sweet spaniel did have many health problems – arthritis, allergies, ear infections, a sprained back leg, pancreatitis, weak heart and liver and kidney troubles.  I feel so guilty about some of this. If we had taken better care of her teeth and given her the non – steroid allergy meds she wouldn’t have gotten so bad that we had to have her put to sleep at 12 years old. The vet assured us that we were good owners.

   I miss our little pumpkin muffin so darn much as does mom and Mike. Mom was spoiling her with too much food at one point and we had to put her on a diet for a while. We hardly ever took her for walks. We should have brushed her more. I can’t help beating myself for not doing much more for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Jewelry Addiction

I have way too much jewelry - alot of it was bought within a 5 year period in the 2000s. I would go to Kohl's, JC Penney's, Macy's, Target and also order from Avon many times when I was feeling depressed and use shopping for jewelry as my therapy but then usually not long afterwards I was feeling upset about not being able to control myself and spending so much money on mostly fashion but also some sterling silver jewelry. I have been a good girl the past few years though. I have fallen back into my old bad habits these last 2 days and have been getting some necklaces off of ebay and one from the Kohl's site. There are a few more that I want but should try to stop myself from getting especially because I am trying to save for US Open tickets.

The set on the left in the picture is actually from my junior prom - 1986. The one on the right is 1928 which is my favourite brand. My friend Suzy got me the earrings in the mid 80's and about 20 years later I found this necklace that goes nicely with them. Other brands that I like are Trifari, Napier, Liz Clairborne, Crazy Horse, Axcess, Avon, Monet, Nine West and a few others that I can't remember at the moment. Now 1928 is 2028 at some stores like Macy's which is odd because it is retro type jewelry and that name doesn't go with that. I took alot of pictures of my jewelry and will be sharing them here in the future.

Hall and Oates Concert 2005

My brother and I went to the PNC Arts Center in the summer of 2005 to see Hall and Oates for the first time. We have both been fans of theirs since the early 1980s. Tears For Fears was not there which was disappointing because I like them too. That is kind of a strange pairing. I'm thinking that TFF would go better with The Pet Shop Boys - that's a concert I'd go to see. Todd Rundgren was there instead. I was only familiar with 2 of his songs. Mark and I weren't really into his part of the show and were kind of disappointed when he came out and performed with Hall and Oates during the 3 songs of the encore. Other than that it was a very good concert. We did wish that they had done Out of Touch but they can't do everything, I suppose. It would be nice if we could go to their concert there this summer but it's not really in the budget. Technically it could be if we cut out one day at the US Open which we hopefully will be going to for 3 days. The concert tickets went on sale Saturday. Maybe they are already sold out anyway.

The Baby Groundhog

In the spring of 2008 my brother found a baby groundhog in the middle of the road near our house. He rescued it before it could get hit and brought it into our house. We were going to release it into the woods by the county road behind our house. We took it over there only we saw it start to cross the road back towards our house. We decided to bring it back inside and keep it overnight until we could take it to the vet the next day. We forgot about the emergency vet place. We put water in a dish and put this in the box with it but it wouldn't drink any of it. We didn't even know that it was a groundhog then. I thought it was somebody's pet guinea pig with an unusual coloring that I'd never seen before. Our spaniel Buffy didn't even seem to know it was here.

I called our vet the next day but the vet tech said that they don't deal with animals like this, mainly just cats and dogs. I knew of another place in Clark so I called them and they said to bring it on over which we did. The girl didn't know that it was a groundhog either, she thought it was a hedgehog. Do we even have those in America? Luckily, she knew of a woman who runs a wildlife rehibilitation place so she got in touch with her. I asked her to call me to tell us how our groundhog was doing which she did and was glad to hear that it would be fine.

I have this feeling that something bad had happened to this baby groundhog's mother and maybe it was searching for her. I felt awful about this but am so glad that my brother rescued it before anything terrible might have happened to it. I was calling it Simon if it was a boy and Molly if it was a girl. I found this cute picture from Joni Johnson-Godsy on the internet.

My First Bon Jovi concert

I really did not get into Bon Jovi music until 2000 when their song It's My Life came out. I never understood why everybody was going so ga-ga over them when I was in high school. My classmates even voted on Never Say Goodbye as the prom song. It seems odd that I did have a Jon Bon Jovi poster on my wall. I won it at either one of those carnival or boardwalk ring toss games, part of me must've thought that he was kind of cute. I wanted to go to one of the shows on the Crush tour in 2000 but the ones in NJ were sold out so my boyfriend and I went to the one in Philadelphia. I think that it was called the First Union Center then. It was on November 10th.

Our seats were high up so I rented binoculars to get a better view. Of course there were screens too but I didn't look at them much - maybe I should have done so more. The two people in front of us stood up during a few songs but I didn't really feel like getting up so I was looking around them. One of the songs was Livin' On A Prayer. It was a good show besides that. I was a little disappointed that they didn't do Thank You For Loving Me though. During one of the songs he danced with a pretty girl for a bit, she must've been a contest winner. I think it was Bed of Roses.

Mike bought me the souvenier program. Near the center we had to stop for gas. I saw a stray doggie and was feeling so sad about that - this happens to be my most vivid memory of the night. I do get so emotional about animals. I have a vague memory of having some sort of steak sandwhich with a very salty sauce or gravy on it at the center. I was hoping that I'd get to go to another Bon Jovi concert someday. I'm glad that I went to their website and wrote down the set list.

My first Duran Duran concert

My boyfriend suprised me with tickets to the Duran Duran concert at the PNC Center during the summer of 2000. He didn't call me for like 3 weeks before this and I was afraid that he was thinking of breaking up with me and I wouldn't get to go. Luckily this didn't happen, although I was still mad at him for not even calling I don't even remember why he hadn't done so. I was just glad that I'd be getting to see DD for the first time although I was a little disappointed that John Taylor was no longer in the group, or even Roger. Didn't care about no Andy though - that sounds mean. I don't remember much about this event. I was a bit ashamed that I sung a little during Rio and swayed to the music. I should've looked at the screen and used the binoculars more. There were some rude people next to us who got up 4 or 5 times for more beer. Mike met a girl that he knew there and I was a little jealous that she had a seat close to the stage.

Free Tickets

Bon Jovi added a fourth show to Giants Stadium. It was so tempting to go back into credit card debt for this but I have to be a good girl. If the state government were still giving the homestead rebate checks I would be able to afford this. I don't even want to get into how angry I am about that.

WPLJ is giving away free tickets to that show today but I really don't feel like trying for this. I get so anxious making phone calls plus I would have a better chance of being struck by lightning than winning anyhow. I wasn't always this afraid to make such a call though and did come very close to winning tickets to events.

The first time was back in the early 90s when they were giving away tickets to the Goldeneye Premiere in NYC. I was the right number caller and thought for sure that I knew the answer to the trivia question. I had just read an article about the Bond films in the paper that morning. Part of me was thinking that I should recheck this while I was waiting but my bossy idiot side wouldn't let me and of course I wound up giving the wrong answer. I have such a craptastic memory too. I never did see the first half hour of Goldfinger but even if I had I probably would've forgotten. So much for getting to see Pierce Brosnan and other stars in person.

I tried winning Bon Jovi tickets one day a few years ago but did not hear that there was also a trivia question that had to be answered until I was on the phone. The girl asked me what was the name of the character that Jon played on Sex and the City, or was it Ally McBeal? Whatever- I had no idea. I don't watch either show and not even him being a guest star made me interested in seeing them. It just figures- I'm finally the right number caller but there just had to be a question along with this.

I can't remember if it was 2005 or 2006 that I tried to win Bon Jovi tickets for the concert that was going to be on December 21, the date of my birth. That would have been a nice present. I actually got to talk to the dj and my request was on the air. I was a nervous wreck and sounded like such a doofus. I requested Invisible Touch by Genesis. Naturally I did not win the All Request Lunch Hour contest either. I'm not lucky at anything.

I was one away from winning Hall and Oates tickets once. I didn't even try to call for Duran Duran ones the time that you had to name all the members of the group in alphabetical order. I'm sure that the devoted fans can easily do this. I was sitting there writing the names down and by the time I finished someone had probably already won. Another time the dj played clips of 5 of their songs and you had to say the names twice. I knew them but was driving at the time and didn't have a cell phone so I wouldn't even have been able to pull over to the side of the road to call.

I only ever tried 5 or 6 times to win DD tickets, it was many more than that for Bon Jovi. Guess that I wasn't as scared then. My cousin Mary was lucky and won tickets to a country music concert with a few performers including Travis Tritt and Billy Ray Cyrus. She was in the second row. I went through a country music phase in the 90s. I liked Travis back then so I was a little jealous.

Federer Day

I thought that my brother was joking when he said that Federer lost yesterday because he's always teasing me about him but he wasn't. That's a shame. In the past I probably would've been more upset about this but I'm not sure why I don't care as much anymore. Maybe it's because I like alot more players than I used to or perhaps part of me is thinking "well, he's won enough already, let the other guys have a chance." Another part of me is thinking that that is so mean. I was actually happy when Baghdatis beat him- was that last week or the week before? I like both players. I sometimes get conflicted in this situation but this time I was rooting for him.

It seems kind of unreal that I actually saw Federer in person last August. There was a charity event in New York City. My brother told me about it. Even though he teases me about him he also has him on his Facebook - it used to be on fan pages but now they have it in my friend section. I debated whether or not to go to this event. It was sort of a last minute decision. My brother came with me.

We got into the city very early. I forget exactly where this was - somewhere downtown, maybe not far from a park. Was it Madison Hill park or something like that? I have such a craptastic memory. We saw them setting up the temporary tennis court from across the street. I wanted to go over there shortly afterwards but was too afraid and also too embarrased to do so. We were people and doggie watching. We saw a lady talking to a guy with an adorable Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and were listening to them talk then were talking to her. I finally got up enough nerve to cross the street where we talked to a security guy for a bit then we walked around the block.

We got on the line when we returned. It wasn't overly long but we would've been about the 3rd and 4th persons in it had we not been sitting across the street for like 50 minutes. This would've guaranteed us spots on the bleachers. We wound up standing behind the camera people so we had a semi-blocked view. I was putting myself down mentally and telling my brother what an idiot I was.

We did meet some nice people there, although the one was talking alot and I really should not have responded to her when Federer was talking- I missed out on much of what he was saying. He did mention his twin baby girls, of course. John McEnroe was also there. I blew a chance to have a close up picture of him because I hit the on/off button on my camera by accident. The guy next to me and I were joking about this. No great loss- he's not much to look at or something like that. I got some really crappy shots of Federer. Only one or two okay ones when he was closer to us at the end.

Another girl asked me if I was going to the US Open and told me that she had tickets for the second week. I told her that we couldn't afford to go. I didn't mention that I was also to afraid to do so. I really wanted to be there in 2007 and 2008 but fear kept me from going as did my going into credit card debt for too many unecessary items. Part of me was thinking that after seeing Federer here that I really wanted to try to get over this fear. I did have some money saved but this was supposed to be for the eye doctor and new glasses. I was thinking well maybe I'd put that off for a while longer. I debated over what to do that afternoon.

We could've stayed to see more tennis stars, Monfils and Nadal, but we were tired and also hungry so we went to a cafe type place for lunch then back to Penn Station. When we watched the news that evening they didn't show that event on it but did show a tennis one that had taken place in Bryant Park. We didn't even know about that but might have if we went to the bakery near there like I originally planned on doing. Maybe we would have seen signs or noticed alot of people and asked what was going on there. Whatever - it just wasn't meant to be, I suppose.

That night I went to the Ticketmaster site to check the price of the grounds pass and it was less than I thought it would be. I asked Mark if he was interested in going and he said yes so I ordered us tickets for Day 1 and Day 2. I'd never ordered them on line before. I did the print out ones and got annoyed because the printer was giving us problems then was relieved when it finally worked.

I was both excited and nervous about finally getting to go to the US Open which was only less than 5 days away. I went to the site the night before and wrote down the schedule of play for the players that we were interested in. I was embarrased to be especially happy about going to the Haas match. I already had all the info about what trains to take - I had written that down 2 years earlier. I tried not to beat myself up about being too scared to go there then. I couldn't wait to be in Queens for this event. If we hadn't gone to see Federer would I have even contemplated going there? Possibly not. It's as if seeing him and also hearing that girl talking about going inspired me to become brave. That sounds kind of cheesy, doesn't it. More on this to come...

Tennis-2006-present

I used to think that tennis was really boring. I didn't even know that much about it. I was really depressed about my mom being in the hospital and her being so far behind in paying the bills. I put the TV on to watch The Price Is Right and got pretty annoyed that the tennis was on instead. I was going to change the channel but part of me was thinking that the 2 guys were kind of cute so I decided to keep it on and give it a chance. So, if they had been average looking would I have turned this off? I sometimes wonder about that and think how ridiculous this is.

I didn't know who to root for at first- I should be cheering on the American Ginepri,right? That shouldn't matter. It is so bad that part of my brain was thinking "Well, the German guy is a bit cuter" plus I was thinking about how much I enjoyed my trip over there in1989. That seems like a strange reason to be cheering on Haas. I didn't even know the rules but the match was intersting and it was taking my mind off of my sadness.

I had to go to an appointment so I couldn't watch all of Haas' next match but I did set the VCR up to tape it. I never did get around to watching it. I totally forgot who he was playing against until I read that it was Safin like a year later. I was very disappointed that Davydenko beat him in the QF match. My brother was saying "It's only tennis" when I got emotional about it. Oh,but he's allowed to get into his sports- not fair.

Luckily, mom was home from the hospital before the finals so I wasn't feeling as anxious. I was rooting for Federer who did win. After this, I didn't really think that much about the tennis. This is how dense I was- my thoughts were "Well, I guess that I'll have to wait until sometime next spring to see more tennis." I didn't find out until I was watching the French Open that there is plenty of tennis before that, even another major event- the Australian Open. Boy did I feel like an idiot. And when I found out that Haas had made it to the Semi-Finals there and also won the title at Memphis I was even more annoyed at myself for not reading up on the tennis. Part of me is laughing about this- no, it's not that funny.

That was nearly 4 years ago and now I am a fan of many players like Federer, Del Potro, Tsonga, Ferrero, Moya, Blake, Kohlschreiber, Nadal and even Davydenko. I just wish that I could afford the Tennis Channel but the cable bill is high enough. They give us the Golf Channel though- wish that we had more options. There is an exhibition event in Atlantic City that I would love to go to especially because my second favourite player, Safin, is going to be there but that's not in the budget either. I wish that they would be at MSG instead- that might be do-able. It's kind of embarrasing to admit that Haas is still my favourite. He won't be playing for a long time because he recently had hip surgery.

My first new car

I didn't get my first new car until 2005 when I was 35 years old. Before that I had a Chevy Cavalier- 1990 or 1991- that I bought off of a friend of the family in 1998. About a week before the Mellencamp concert, she died on me. Our mechanic said that it wasn't worth fixing. His mom recommended a Hyundai dealership which I was going to go to but a friend of the family suggested a Kia one so he took me there. I had rented a car for the concert which was a Kia Spectra and thought that it wasn't bad. I needed the car that day, but I didn't have my own insurance policy; I was still under my mother's- kind of pathetic. So the primary name on the title is hers. She no longer drives and hasn't since about 2001. I had to take out a bank loan which I've never done before, nor had I rented a car either. It felt nice to finally have a new car. I didn't realize that there is no cassette player in it until I tried putting my Genesis tape in it after the Duran Duran concert 2 weeks later. The stereo did need to be fixed a month later though.

I had it for 3 years before I did something really stupid that caused damage to it and I will never forgive myself for this and am still upset about it. I am a very careful driver. I've only ever had one minor accident and it wasn't entirely my fault. I was coming home from Walgreens with mom. The recycle truck was near our house. My gut instinct said to back up and pull over to a spot temporarily until it passed but unfortunately my brain has been doing alot of stupid things over the past 7 years . I asked my mom if she thought that there was enough room for me to pass that truck and she said sure. I was doubting her but my brain felt overwhelmed and confused and I couldn't trust myself to make the right decision so I went with hers which turned out to be a major mistake and now there is a big dent in the passenger side door that I can't afford to fix. I was semi- freaking out. Afterwards I ran up to my room and was crying for 40 minutes. I couldn't even watch the women's Final of Wimbledon, I was too upset and angry with myself. I ruined a nice car, my first and probably only ever new one. I banged my fists on the floor and put myself down alot, but managed to calm down by listening to my Duran Duran tape. Everytime I hear the recycle truck I have flashbacks of that day.

I seem to be more upset about it lately than I was for a while, not sure why. I still have a year to go before the loan is even paid off. I'd like to get it put entirely in my name afterwards. I just worry everyday that I'll get into an accident- I do have an anxiety problem and driving is definitely part of this. I don't see how I could ever forgive myself for this and let it go.

A couple of times in the past year we've had heavy rains and wind and I noticed that the floor in the back of the driver's side was wet. Part of me is thinking that maybe I should take her to a mechanic but another part of me is saying that it's not a major problem which my mom agrees with. It's so ridiculous that I can't even trust my judgement and get so confused. I did kind of blame my mother for the car screw-up incident which I feel guilty about. I shouldn't have listened to her and went with my smart side but it's like there's some sort of defect in which that part of me gets over-ruled by the illogical side that thinks that it is right- No I don't hear voices or have a split personality or anything like that. I used to have such a nice car.