This is my brother and I - Christmas 1989. We got along pretty well back then. Once the 90's came things started going downhill. I had alot of mean thoughts about him today because he was being verbally abusive towards me. These past 5 years have been especially bad. He is so self centered and wants everything to be his way. I have to live with him and mom because of our financial situations. Somedays I wish that God would just let me die in my sleep so I wouldn't have to be around him anymore. He causes us such stress but naturally refuses to see this but tells us we are the ones causing him alot of stress. He got on my case yet again about using his computer and said that me comparing it to having to drive them around in my car is not the same at all. I went upstairs and listened to a Duran Duran CD - Astronaut to try to calm myself down because music sometimes helps. It did but only a tiny bit. I was crying and thinking to myself that it feels like I haven't had a brother in a long time. When we watch certain shows together and go to concerts it feels like he is still my brother. It is so mean that I picture him as Darth Mark or Markzilla sometimes.