Thursday, June 10, 2010

Mean Thoughts


This is my brother and I - Christmas 1989. We got along pretty well back then. Once the 90's came things started going downhill. I had alot of mean thoughts about him today because he was being verbally abusive towards me. These past 5 years have been especially bad. He is so self centered and wants everything to be his way. I have to live with him and mom because of our financial situations. Somedays I wish that God would just let me die in my sleep so I wouldn't have to be around him anymore. He causes us such stress but naturally refuses to see this but tells us we are the ones causing him alot of stress. He got on my case yet again about using his computer and said that me comparing it to having to drive them around in my car is not the same at all. I went upstairs and listened to a Duran Duran CD - Astronaut to try to calm myself down because music sometimes helps. It did but only a tiny bit. I was crying and thinking to myself that it feels like I haven't had a brother in a long time. When we watch certain shows together and go to concerts it feels like he is still my brother. It is so mean that I picture him as Darth Mark or Markzilla sometimes.

4 comments:

Pam@GoRetro said...

Sorry to hear about that, LaraAnn. My brother is actually the same way. Not only is he verbally disrespectful towards me, but towards our 80 year-old mother as well. Getting him to come down the house and help with certain fix-its that us women can't do is a challenge. My solution nowadays is just to avoid him as much as possible. Here's hoping both of our siblings wake up one of these days and realize you can't mistreat other family members.

LaraAnn said...

Your words of kindness and understanding really helped make me feel better. I'm sorry that you and your mom have to deal with a similar problem. It's a shame that some people seem to get a kick out of upsetting others. It would be so nice if our brothers do change. I just have to learn not to let him get to me even though this is very difficult.

Ally said...

that is so sad to hear. i think any time you are in close proximity with anyone, relatives, spouse, etc. for lengthy periods of time, these situations occur. i wish it wasn't to the extreme of hurting you the way it obviously has. :(

LaraAnn said...

Ally- I appreciate your sympathy. This is so true. I know that others have it worse off than me. It just gets so frustrating and overwhelming sonmetimes. It seems like he doesn't like seeing mom and I happy.

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