Saturday, April 24, 2010

My Only Nightclub Experience

I never was that interested in going to a nightclub, but last year a small part of me did want to see what it was like and I had an oppurtunity to go to one in NYC . There was a get together of DD fans that I read about at a fan site and I thought that it might be fun. I did almost chicken out though because of my social anxiety and the fear of going into the city alone.

I had only been to the downtown area once before with a boyfriend in the early 90s. I went to a site to get directions. I took the train into Penn Station. The subway line that I was supposed to take was closed so I had to overcome my fears and ask someone what to do. The lady was very nice. I thought that I'd have trouble finding the club but I didn't. I was there like an hour early so I went to McDonald's and had some juice.

I met some nice people at the party only I'm bad with names so I forget most of theirs except for Stacey and Paula because I used to have friends with those names. I remember them in other ways- kitty cat girl, nice necklace girl, Florida girl and DC girl. Everybody was nice but I was still feeling very nervous.

The music was very loud. It was mostly 1980s music. I heard about 12 Duran Duran songs. It was hard talking to people over that noise and it was hurting my ears. I felt like I ran out of gas in the socializing department after about 2 hours. I sat down on the comfy bench like chairs built against the wall and wrote in my journal. Part of me wanted to rejoin the party but I was feeling tired and like an outsider. Everybody was drinking alcohol which I don't like to do. After about an hour I decided that I should just leave. I didn't even say goodbye to anybody.

I left the club and was crying a little. Part of me wanted to go back inside. The bouncer saw that I was upset and asked me if I was okay. I told him how I was feeling. He said some things that made me feel a little better, like if you do decide to go back inside to take off that ridiculous rain hat. I wanted to catch the 12:40 train- the next one wouldn't be until like 4 am.

I guess that clubs are not my scene. Maybe it would have been better if I had never even gone but then again, I might have regretted that decision.


C said...

I'm happy to hear that there is someone in the world who won't die if she can't go to a night club every night! :)

LaraAnn said...

Thanks- It is good to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Chelly said...

Aw, Lara I know how you feel. I just stumbled onto this post. I'm the same way at those types of places. It's not my scene either. I think it's so incredibly brave of you to try and that's the most important thing. You are awesome. It's an accomplishment indeed. You were uncomfortable and left—you did the right thing for you. It makes you cool and independent. Bravo chickee. :)


LaraAnn said...

Your kind words certainly made me feel better about myself. Now I will hear these in my head instead of the self criticism. I guess it's a good thing that I went even though it turned out to be not the best of experiences. It feels nice having someone who I can relate to on this and so many other subjects.

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