I never was that interested in going to a nightclub, but last year a small part of me did want to see what it was like and I had an oppurtunity to go to one in NYC . There was a get together of DD fans that I read about at a fan site and I thought that it might be fun. I did almost chicken out though because of my social anxiety and the fear of going into the city alone.
I had only been to the downtown area once before with a boyfriend in the early 90s. I went to a site to get directions. I took the train into Penn Station. The subway line that I was supposed to take was closed so I had to overcome my fears and ask someone what to do. The lady was very nice. I thought that I'd have trouble finding the club but I didn't. I was there like an hour early so I went to McDonald's and had some juice.
I met some nice people at the party only I'm bad with names so I forget most of theirs except for Stacey and Paula because I used to have friends with those names. I remember them in other ways- kitty cat girl, nice necklace girl, Florida girl and DC girl. Everybody was nice but I was still feeling very nervous.
The music was very loud. It was mostly 1980s music. I heard about 12 Duran Duran songs. It was hard talking to people over that noise and it was hurting my ears. I felt like I ran out of gas in the socializing department after about 2 hours. I sat down on the comfy bench like chairs built against the wall and wrote in my journal. Part of me wanted to rejoin the party but I was feeling tired and like an outsider. Everybody was drinking alcohol which I don't like to do. After about an hour I decided that I should just leave. I didn't even say goodbye to anybody.
I left the club and was crying a little. Part of me wanted to go back inside. The bouncer saw that I was upset and asked me if I was okay. I told him how I was feeling. He said some things that made me feel a little better, like if you do decide to go back inside to take off that ridiculous rain hat. I wanted to catch the 12:40 train- the next one wouldn't be until like 4 am.
I guess that clubs are not my scene. Maybe it would have been better if I had never even gone but then again, I might have regretted that decision.
Phil Collins: "In The Air Tonight"
5 days ago