Vacation Time/Thank You

My brother and I are kind of going on a vacation for 5 days next week. We will be taking a train into NYC then the subway to Queens to go to the US Open. We went there last year for the first time for 4 days. I have only been into the tennis for a few years. I wanted to go there in 2007 and 2008 but didn't because of my anxiety problem. I finally got a little brave last year but still was suffering from the anxiety while at this event so I was doing all sorts of stupid things and having trouble fully enjoying myself. Hopefully this year I will do better. I have been meaning to write about our adventures but haven't gotten around to it yet.

We will be taking the 6:30 train and spending the whole day there. We didn't get home until between 8 and 9 pm last year so it probably will be the same this time. I will be way too tired and won't have the time to come here. I will have alot of reading to catch up on the following week. I just want to thank everyone for reading my posts and leaving comments. Starting this blog and making connections has helped me to feel a little more confident and less scared to "socialize". Maybe I will be able to do this out there in the real world and not feel so anxious around people. I want to enjoy myself and not have fear and self-doubt ruin things for me again.

Childhood Friends

These photos are from around 1980. The top one is Michelle S on the right and Michelle H on the left. We had alot of Michelles in our class. Maybe some of their parents were Beatles fans. This was taken on the playground at our school - St. John the Apostle. I was friends with Michelle S for only about a year and a half. She started hanging out with the more popular girls. I was like the class nerd, I suppose. Michelle H left our school by 7th grade and we didn't really keep in touch afterwards which I regret.

I remember the birthday party/sleepover at Michelle H's house, her love of Grover - she had a Super Grover stuffed animal, and the time she accidentally dropped a meatball with sauce on my white shirt at a Girl Scout cover dish supper. Michelle S had a sleepover too but I didn't go to it and regret this. I was afraid to because the popular girls who picked on me sometimes would be there. I told her that I was sick. Soon afterwards we were no longer friends. I think that she was upset with me one day when she was looking at this School Days book that I had and she didn't see her name on the friends list. I told her that I was sorry and just forgot to write hers but I'm sure she was still upset about this.

The bottom photo is of me with Kim and my brother Mark. Kim was in my brother's class, which was 2 years behind me. We are playing with his Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars. I considered her my best friend back then. We loved playing with stuffed animals. Sometimes we'd pretend that her house was California and ours Florida.

This friendship ended badly. My dad is partly to blame. He was mad at her parents because they weren't taking us to school as much as my parents took her. There was a big arguement and shortly after this Kim and I didn't hang out together anymore. That was sometime in 1982.

Another factor was that she was hanging out with a couple of the popular girls in her class more. Maybe she didn't think that I was cool enough and perhaps those girls wondered why she'd want to hang out with a nerd like me. I'm not trying to do the mind reading thing, just supposing what might've happened. I 've never really been able to feel that close to anyone after that. I know, get over it - this is still pretty upsetting though.

My first Duran Duran concert

My boyfriend suprised me with tickets to the Duran Duran concert at the PNC Center during the summer of 2000. He didn't call me for like 3 weeks before this and I was afraid that he was thinking of breaking up with me and I wouldn't get to go. Luckily this didn't happen, although I was still mad at him for not even calling I don't even remember why he hadn't done so. I was just glad that I'd be getting to see DD for the first time although I was a little disappointed that John Taylor was no longer in the group, or even Roger. Didn't care about no Andy though - that sounds mean. I don't remember much about this event. I was a bit ashamed that I sung a little during Rio and swayed to the music. I should've looked at the screen and used the binoculars more. There were some rude people next to us who got up 4 or 5 times for more beer. Mike met a girl that he knew there and I was a little jealous that she had a seat close to the stage.

Bad 80's Fashion?

I think that I was posing for these pictures because at that time I was in that Barbizon beauty school and was having fun with fashion and makeup. I can't remember much about that place. They taught us about these things and stuff like how to do the model walk. My most vivid memory of it was when a couple of girls called me Bride of Frankenstein which upset me so much that I gave up on that place with only 2 more classes left before graduation.

I look at some of the pictures like these and wonder what I was thinking when I chose some of the outfits. I never wore the designer stuff, it wasn't in our budget. Mom would get me clothes with her employee discount at Bradlees. I was kind of jealous of the girls that had the Sassoon, Gloria Vanderbilt, Calvin Klein and other popular brands of the 80s. I had mostly Chic and Gitano or PS Gitano. I did get a designer pair once in a bag of hand me downs from a friend of the family which I was happy about.

My Buffy Puppy

The best thing about the 90s is when we got our cocker spaniel puppy Buffy in 1998. My brother paid for her but he wasn't even with mom and I when we picked her out. We were visiting my Aunt Al and were supposed to go to a flea market that morning but it was raining so we decided to go to the petstore nearby. They had cocker spaniels but all of them were males and we really wanted a female. The guy employee had overheard us talking to the girl one about this and said that there was one in the back. I'm so glad that he was standing there otherwise we would not have her in our family today and thank goodness it rained too for the same reason. I only wish that I had taken more than 13 pictures of her as a puppy.

Auto Bingo

My brother and I enjoyed playing auto bingo during our trips to Aunt Al and Uncle Gene and Grandma at the farm's houses in South Jersey. I'm sure that we played it on other trips but I mainly remember this. We mainly went there during Christmas and Thanksgiving. Sometimes in the summer we'd visit my aunt and uncle. My favourite was the country auto bingo. We passed some farms on the way there. I loved seeing the cows, horses and other farm animals. Back in the 70s and early 80s New Jersey didn't have so much development and it was a nice drive. It's been 10 years since I've been down that way and I'm sure that it's even worse now than it was then. This is such a shame.

Summertime 1975

It's been kind of a stressful day. My brother is in complaint mode as he often is. He is the angry middle age man. It has put me in a bad mood so I have traveled to my past to happier times that my brother and I had. Things were so carefree and simple back then. I love these black and white photos that dad took of us playing in the yard. Our Uncle Al helped dad put up that swingset. I must've loved my Kathy doll - she's in all the pictures.

EastEnders/My VCR Screw-up

My brother and I have been watching this British soap opera off and on since the mid 80s. I do regret giving up on it a few times. I didn't see it when I was living with my aunt for a year and in Pittsburgh for a few months either. It was on a PBS station at midnight and I probably could've tried figuring out how to use my aunt's VCR . It was foolish not to do so.

The episodes here are so far behind, like 7 years. It wasn't always this way. In the beginning it was only 3 - 6 months. They increased the amount of episodes each week over there - I'm pretty sure it went from 2 to 3 then 4. That's only part of the reason it fell behind. PBS pledging and the fact that it went off the one PBS station and wasn't picked up by another for a while.

I would be watching my tape of it right now. It used to be on at 10:oo pm but then it went to midnight which is too late for me to stay up for so I tape it. I put the tape on at 8:30 this morning only to find shows from other stations on it. Unfortunately my VCR capabilities aren't what they used to be before our stupid cable company made it so you had to get the digital converter box. I can no longer tape one thing while watching another so if I forget to change the channel it will tape what's on that. We can't afford DVR so I'm stuck with this system. I am usually very careful to check that the right channel is on. It's unforgivable that I screwed up not just one week but 2 weeks in a row.

I don't even see much of a difference between the picture quality of digital and the way that it used to be - is that called analog. I can't do the multiple channel tapings either. I used to be so good at taping stuff which is what makes my many screw ups of the past few years even more upsetting. I can't remember how long ago we had to get that darn box. Without it we'd only be getting the basic channels. The rip off cable company first made it so you'd need the box for certain cable channels then kept increasing the amount of those channels until finally you need it for all. I could go on and on about this subject but wasn't this post supposed to be mainly about my show?

I have screwed up taping it in the past, like by setting up the wrong times or days like with other shows. I really hate missing any of it especially when there's a storyline that we are really interested in on. The death of the kind of cute Jamie got cut off because I didn't set it for the right ending time. I got to see part of it on You Tube. We like the Kat and Alfie storyline. My brother thinks that I have a crush on Alfie but I don't. Just because he thinks that Kat is hot doesn't mean that I like any of the guys on there. There have been a few kind of cute ones.

I have some books about the show and was also in a fan club based out of NYC for a few years. I would get the Walford Gazette fan newspaper 4 times a year. It wasn't in the budget anymore but I wish that it could've been. I really don't watch American soaps anymore. I used to in the late 70s, the 80s and a couple of different times in the 90s. ABC ones - All My Children, One Life to Live, Ryans Hope and General Hospital - just in the 90s for the latter. I just can't get into the American soaps anymore, not even when James Franco was on GH. I did try watching it again mainly because of him. We do enjoy EastEnders. I just hope that I don't mess up the taping of it again next week.

My Jon Bon Jovi poster

I really was not into Bon Jovi music back in the 80's but I did have this poster hanging in my room along with the Riptide one. I did not buy it. I won it at one of those ring toss games on the boardwalk. I forget where - could've been Keansburg or maybe Seaside. I must have thought that he was kind of cute otherwise I would not have put this on my wall. I had it up there for a couple of years in the 80s and threw it out by the mid 90s. I got this 8x10 at a flea market in the late 90s. He looked so much better when I first got into their music in 2000. He definitely was on my cute guy list then.

Handmade items #1

My Aunt Al made these nice pillows out of my mom's wedding dress. She also used that material to make my First Holy Communion dress. She crocheted that little container in between the pillows. I keep some of my pins in it. Handmade items were always my favourite presents from her and grandma at the farm.

Christmas 1982 - Atari

One of my favourite Christmas days because we got Atari and a few of the games - Kaboom, Freeway and Baseball. I also got Kenny Rogers greatest hits. I was very happy about these gifts. My friend Paula wondered why I wanted that. I shouldn't have been ashamed about this back then. I still have a little shame about music that I like, maybe that incident is part of the reason why.

Other games that we had - Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man, Frogger, Donkey Kong, Pitfall, Barnstorming, Stampede, Asteroids, Combat and Dolphin. Our cousin Mary had Fishing Derby and Atlantis. My brother really liked Atlantis. We eventually gave our Atari to her. I was never that good at video games. Mark also had the hand held electronic games of Space Invaders and Football, which I think was Colecovision.

Florida 1983 - part 2

My mom put some of the sand from Panama City Beach in a glass Durkee spice jar so this and the postcard are our souveniers from there. I'm pretty sure that the alligators postcard is from Gatorland Zoo or maybe I got it elsewhere in Florida. We also visited my mom's Aunt Fran. I'll have to ask her if she's on her mom or dad's side of the family. My dad took a picture of a gator that was in their back yard that didn't come out that great. I probably should've posted it anyway. I don't remember if this was also in Panama City or in a town nearby. I cut out a small picture of the glass bottom boat at Silver Springs from a magazine - I wish that I had bought a postcard there too. I should have turned it around so it faces the same way as the postcards.

Favourite 80's songs - Part 4

1. Is There Something I Should Know? - Duran Duran

2. It's Still Rock and Roll to Me - Billy Joel

3. Easy Lover - Phil Collins and Phillip Bailey

4. The Living Years - Mike + The Mechanics

5. Take On Me - a-ha

6. Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House

7. The Promise - When In Rome

8. True - Spandau Ballet

9. It's My Life - Talk, Talk

10. Don't Talk to Strangers - Rick Springfield

11. And We Danced - The Hooters

12. Freezeframe - J. Geils Band

13. How Soon Is Now - The Smiths

14. Let's Dance - David Bowie

15. In My House - Mary Jane Girls

16. Throwing It All Away - Genesis

17. Always Something There To Remind Me- Naked Eyes

18. Something About You - Glass Tiger

19. Who Can It Be Now - Men at Work

20. Everybody Wants to Rule The World - Tears for Fears

Northern Exposure

This was one of my favourite shows from the 90's. My mother saw some episodes and liked it too. I had a little bit of a crush on Rob Morrow and John Corbett. I would debate in my head who did I like more - the latter would often win out. I had a John Corbett poster that was only on my wall for a couple of months. I had a calendar one year that I cut some of the pictures out of for my scrapbook but eventually I threw them away. My brother got me the mug and I got a street sign - Cicely Alaska. Sometimes I wished that the characters and place were real and that I could take a trip there.

I also have some 8x10 photos of this show still in my scrapbook. This is one of them. I have the book which has an episode guide but only of the first 3 seasons. I didn't care for the last season that much because Rob Morrow was not in it. I saw some reruns of it on A&E when they still had good shows on that channel.

Florida 1983

After Disneyworld and EPCOT Center we went to a few other places in Florida. Gatorland Zoo was interesting. I wish that Dad had taken pictures there. We were on a glass bottom boat in Silver Springs and saw wildlife at that nice place. We visited Aunt Jo, Uncle Rich and cousins Randy, Richard and Jay in Panama City Beach. This is the first time my brother and I ever met them. Aunt Jo is my mom's older sister. The white sand beach was beautiful. I almost stepped on a crab there though.

We drove through Tennessee on the way home. We went to the Forbidden Caverns there. We also drove on the Skyline Drive in Virginia. I really liked that. We ate at a restraunt in the mountains. I'm glad that the photo of the deer came out - so cute.

We stayed at the same motel near Disneyworld that we had been at in 1976. They were turning it into a time share place and tried talking us into this. In the picture by the pool I am wearing the EPCOT t-shirt that I regretted getting rid of. Mom, Mark and I were disappointed that Dad didn't take us to the Kennedy Space Center during this trip but it was a pretty good vacation.

My David Bowie Dreams

May 16, 2002 -
I was at a diner that was kind of empty. There was a guy sitting at one table and he invited me over to talk to him. It was David Bowie. We talked for about 25 minutes about food and other things that I can't remember. After he left another guy wondered why I didn't ask for his autograph. I said that I really wasn't interested in that.

June 11, 2002 -
I was talking to David Bowie. I told him that I liked his jean jacket. Would he even ever wear one of these? Other people wanted his autograph but I wasn't interested in getting it. A couple of other people thought that I was nuts for not wanting that. Seeing him was good enough for me. I'm not sure where this took place. Maybe the streets of NYC.

Disney World 1983 - Part 2

These are some of the souveniers that we got at Disney World and EPCOT. Lady and the Tramp are mom's. My brother and I got small knick knacks too - Donald and Daisy Duck for him and Mickey and Minnie Mouse for me. I also got an EPCOT key chain but it was stolen when I was in the hospital. I regret getting rid of my Disney World 83 and EPCOT Center T-shirts about 12 years ago.

Mark reminded me that Dad got us kids priced tickets even though we weren't under 12. Mark was 12 and I was 13. I was trying to remember other things about this trip and a fun ride came to mind. I'm pretty sure it's called the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

Disney World 1983

Dad didn't take as many pictures on this trip to Disneyworld as he did in 1976. We really liked Epcot Center. Dad's favourite was The World of Motion. He was a GM employee at the time. Mark and I liked nearly everything there. It was fun being in the various countries esp. England. I think that this part of it is called the World Pavillion.

I wish that I had more vivid memories of Disneyworld - I mainly remember my parents arguing. Dad didn't want Mom to go back to the souvenier shop right before we left late at night and of course he got his way.

My Favourite Beatles Songs

I went through a Beatles/McCartney/Wings phase in the late 80's and early 90's. I still like this music but I don't really listen to it much, definitely not like I did then. I had the records but foolishly took most of them to a book/record exchange place by the mid 90's. My boyfriend made tapes of his Beatles CDs in the late 90's.

1. We Can Work It Out

2. The Long and Winding Road

3. Eleanor Rigby

4. Something

5. Norweigan Wood

6. Love Me Do

7. And I Love Her

8. Every Little Thing

9. Things We Said Today

10. In My Life

11. Paperback Writer

12. Yesterday

13. Here Comes the Sun

14. Here, There and Everywhere

15. Penny Lane

16. Nowhere Man

17. If I Fell

18. I liked the 4 songs on Abbey Road - She Came in Through the Bathroom Window, Golden Slumbers, Carry That Weight and The End. Haven't listened to that in a very long time. I guess I'd still like this.