Wednesday, November 17, 2010

We Miss You, Buffy

It has been nearly a week without a Buffy in our lives and we are still very upset about this. I miss so much about her, even a few of the annoying things like her waking me up at 4 a. m. to be let out. It is just so strange not having her around. Her enthusiatic greeting us when we returned home was always so funny and sweet - her whole butt and little stub would shake and she'd jump around alot. My brother was extremely emotional on her final day. He cried even more than I did. He sometimes used to call her a money pit and waste of money but he must've loved her deep down inside.

We had to wait 45 minutes before the vet came into the room. We did stay for both shots. She went quickly. I wish that we could've had her for a few more months, like up until her 13th birthday but she was getting worse so as sad as this loss is she is no longer suffering. Sometimes Mark, Mom and I pretend that she is still around, like during mealtimes we say " No, Buffy, you can't have people food." We did give her some fruit the last 2 days though.

I wish that I had figured out how to use the videotaping mode on my camera months ago then I could've taken lots of video of Buffy. I didn't even think about doing so until 2 days before we took her to the vets for the last time. Mark used his then but I was telling myself that it would be too complicated to figure out but the day before I was able to do so only I screwed up on 2 or 3 of the clips, changing it from widthwise to sideways partway through. Mom did the same for one clip of me and Buffy together. I did take alot of pictures of her but would've liked to take more. I'm still too upset to put these into our computer.

I keep thinking of all the things we should've done for Buffy, like taking her for walks and brushing her more. She was only on a few walks over the past 6 years. I only brushed her twice in one month. The vet and vet techs and other people have said that we were good owners but both my brother and I believe that we should've been better ones. She was such a sweet, loving girl. She definitely was a grandma's girl, very close to our mom. It was hard for me to even do this post because I'm really emotional about not having our special spaniel in my life anymore.


Pam@GoRetro said...

I know how you feel about wanting more time. The last cat we had to put to sleep, because she was old and sick, was a stray that we had taken in just five years prior to when we had to say goodbye. Since she was one of my favorite cats (well, all of them were my favorites but this one shared a bond with me unlike the others...she just instantly because attached to me the first day we had her in the house) it was especially hard. I really wish I'd had at least another year with her, but I learned to be grateful for the five years I did have.

I am sure you are going to feel Buffy's spirit with you some days. You may think she's on the bed or in the room...and chances are, she is. The spirit of a loved one never goes away, is always with you.

Anyways I'm sorry again you had to say goodbye to her, but I'm glad she went peacefully, and I hope you find some comfort in the happy memories.

Anonymous said...

Lara, I feel so sad for you on the loss of Buffy. i have 2 doggies who are my babies and I know when the time comes I will be a mess.

I am sure you treated Buffy with lots of love during her time with you.I am sure she had a great life
and you were a loving owner.

You will always have the good memories and knowing she loved you as much as you loved her. I am sure she is at peace and in doggie heaven waiting for you.

Blast from the Past said...

Nothing will ever fill the void that Buffy left, so cherish every memory and awesome feeling that you have of her.

I was 22 when I lost my dog I got when I was 7. Thought I was old enough and mature enough that I could handle it... cried like a baby for quite awhile.

I know that while you may not be thinking about getting another dog anytime soon, know that while you'll never be able to replace Buffy, a new dog in the future will minister to you in a different way and find it's own special place int your heart.

I do pray God's peace and blessing on you.

LaraAnn said...

Pam - I definitely have many happy Buffy memories. I like your thought that her spirit is still with us. I am greatful about the time that we had together but like you with your beloved cat, it will probably be a little while before I won't be mostly feeling like I wish that we had at least 2 more years together.

Joyce - In many ways we were good owners and I know that I should just focus on this but I can't help wishing that we had done more for her. I do have dreams that one day I'll be seeing her again in heaven where everyone is healthy and happy. She was definitely very close to my mom - a grandma's girl. What kind of doggies do you have?

Darryll- My brother is still pretty emotional about the loss of Buffy which really suprises me. Mom, Mark and I often talk about her - she brought much happiness to our lives. Relationships with pets can be really close. Some people don't get this. What kind of dog did you have? It would be nice if we get another doggie- definitely a spaniel. If we do this will have to wait for a couple of years.

Thank you all for your sympathy - it has helped alot having support during this very upsetting experience.

Blast from the Past said...

Laura Ann -

Ginger was an Irish Setter and Dachshund mix. An interesting coupling - and a very high strung dog. She was fine when we were all around, but when she was alone she got pretty schizoid! I could tell stories for hours on ends. She was an incredible dog and a friend to our entire community, given the fact that she would run up to 4 miles looking for us.

The point being that we had a real family member in her - much like I'm sure Buffy was to you.

LaraAnn said...

Darryll - Ginger sounds so sweet and special. Do you have any pictures of her on your blog? I had a dog with that name too. She looked a little like Benji. We only had her for 7 years though. She got sick and my dad wouldn't pay to find out what was wrong with her and had her put to sleep. It seemed like it could've just been an infection. I'd love to hear more stories about your Ginger someday.

I was putting off importing the latest Buffy photos into the computer because I was afraid that I'd get too emotional about it but I finally did so today. Mom and I were sharing happy memories of her as we looked at them.

I hope that you and your family have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

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