Dreamtime

March 16, 2010- Duran Duran Concert

I was standing outside our current apartment when the scenery surrounding me started changing to that of the yard of my old apartment. I assumed that I lived here in this holodeck storyline. I didn’t really feel like going inside yet. I wanted to walk around town to see what things were like here now.

   The neighborhood seemed as it did in the late 1980s but there were cars from present day there too. I was getting close to the store which was only about a block away when I heard loud music. I’m surprised that I hadn’t heard this sooner.

   At first, I thought that someone had their stereo or TV on at a high volume but when I got to the store, I saw a large crowd gathered on the grassy area and parking lot nearby. The song that I was hearing was Duran Duran’s” Planet Earth”.

    I then saw a stage right in front of the township office/community center building. The members of Duran Duran were on it. There seemed to be about 400 people watching their performance. I didn’t really see any security people in the area so I just went over to the back of the crowd to watch this concert.

   I wished that I had been there from the beginning and that I was more towards the front row. I guess that someone in my town had won a contest which is why this group was performing here. That has happened in other storylines.

   The song ended and there was now a short break. I asked one of the girls for details about the contest. She said that it had been a radio- call-in kind in which the winner and ten of her friends and/or family could attend this concert in his or her hometown. The other people were also winners from mostly New Jersey.

   No one seemed to care that I wasn’t supposed to be there.  I talked to her for a little bit more and found out that they had already done 6 songs. Why couldn’t my alien friend make it so I wouldn’t have missed any of this show?

   One of the station’s DJs came onto the stage to announce that Duran Duran would be back in about 5 minutes to do 4 or 5 more songs. I couldn’t wait until they did and hoped that” Rio” would be one of them.

   I really wanted to try to sneak up closer to the stage but I’m sure that people would get pissed off if I attempted to do that. Maybe even a security person would stop me and kick me out. I decided to take that chance though.

   I went over to the right side of the building. No one even notice me when I moved into the 3^rd row. Why didn’t I try to sneak in over on the left side so I would be closer to John Taylor? It seemed easier to make my way into the crowd on this side, I suppose.

   I was thinking about the fun that I used to have at summer play camp at this community center when I was a kid. My brother and best friend went there with me. We did arts and crafts like ceramics. I made a small wishing well out of Popsicle sticks.

   The crowd got really excited and some of the girls were screaming when the guys came back out onto the stage. The first song that they did was “Hungry Like the Wolf”. A few of the girls next to me formed a circle and started dancing around to this. They wanted me to join them so I did.  I felt a little embarrassed.

   One of those girls looked like a former classmate of mine, Jane. Our appearance was that of our early 20s. The DD guys seemed to be in their early-mid 30s. It was supposed to be current times despite us all looking younger.

   I was feeling pretty excited when John came over to our side of the stage during the next song “Notorious”.  He looked as if he was smiling at me but surely it was just directed toward everyone in that general vicinity. I did smile back though. The same thing happened at the Central Park concert in 2008.

   Maybe people would wonder why I would be so thrilled about seeing holographic or shape shifting alien versions of stars such as him. Not that I would ever tell anyone that I have such experiences on an alien holodeck.  It all seems so real and I feel so happy to be there.

    The last song that they performed was “Rio”.  John came over to the right a few times then which was nice. Jane told me that the winner and her friends would get to meet the band after the show; lucky them.

   Even though I didn’t get to see the whole show, I was still pleased that I had been there for part of it. I am glad that I was able to get closer to the stage. I’m sure that in real life security would not be so lax. I did beat myself up a little afterwards for not going to the left of the stage; I’m ashamed that I like to be on bassist guy’s side.

   It has been a while since Duran Duran were in one of these programs. They used to be in a lot of them. I had just been putting pictures from their 2008 Wellmont Theatre concert into my photo album earlier that day. That is the only time that I’ve ever taken photos at a concert. I sort of wish that I hadn’t so that I could have focused on the music completely.

   I probably will never get to see them again in real life which might be a good thing because I almost always screw up at such events. I keep hoping that my afterlife fantasy of our spirits going to concerts and other events comes true. Does this sound kind of crazy? I’m sure that God is amused.

August 19, 2015

Mom probably will be calling me soon to ask me to pick her up from the senior center. It is food pantry day. I feel kind of anxious about having my projects interrupted. It is a little difficult to refocus on them afterwards.

   I forget last night’s dreams which I am even more upset about than usual because one of them had Duran Duran in it. I only have this image of being at an outdoor flea market looking at the nice jewelry and handbags at one table. I saw Nick Rhodes nearby. This was before a DD concert that was taking place at a venue in that town.

   I found out what date that DD is going to be on the “CBS Sunday Morning” show- September 13. This post was shared by Jenny on Facebook. I should really tell her that I got that ticket but I am afraid to.

    It would be nice if we meet up again someday like she assured me could happen but I have my doubts. Part of me wishes that we could be friends instead of just acquaintances. But mostly I am thinking that I am not that good at any relationships so it probably would not work out. I would have a better chance of it if I wasn’t such a freak.

   I am more fascinated by Duran Duran now than ever before despite being mad about the encore incident. I want to keep checking Facebook and the fan site every day for updated information on them- tour, press, news, etc.

   I haven’t purchased any of the magazines that they have been in though and sort of regret this. I should have at least gone to B&N to see if they had that Billboard mag. My driving anxiety prevented me from doing so.

   I told Amy that this NYC concert is like a chance for me to make up for their cancelled AC show 3 years ago. It would have been three times of seeing them for that tour. The previous one was four and the Astronaut one was only 2. If I hadn’t been afraid to go to AC, it would have been 3.

   Mike would have a fit if he knew that I have seen them more than he believes that I have. I know that the “obsessed” word would be mentioned by him. There are fans who have seen them a hell of a lot more than me. I wish that I could have done so at least a few more times within the past 10 years that I have been majorly into their music.

   I hope that I don’t get really sick during my time at the US Open like I was last year and a previous one. I need to be fully healthy for my Luke Bryan and DD concerts that are shortly after this.

  On the “Today Show” yesterday- or was it on Monday? - Tamron said that Stevie Wonder had recently done a free concert in Central Park. That would have been nice to have been at. I think that she said that the news about this was only on Facebook so you would have to be following him to know about it.

    I am so damn ashamed that I raced over to the computer the second my brother read out Lee Majors name as one added to the Chiller Theatre guest list. I said “I’m there!” Mike was teasing me about this, naturally.

    I have only had this retro-crush for the past few years. Mostly, when we started watching “The Big Valley” for the first time. Later, I saw that “The Six Million Dollar Man” was on Cozi TV; if I had noticed this sooner, I would have seen more episodes.

 Mike liked that when we were kids and sometimes I would watch it with him. I bet that he wishes that he hadn’t gotten rid of that action figure.   

   Hopefully, his autograph won’t be over $40.00. I guess that Mike wants this too. I am going to be pretty nervous then. I just hope that my brother doesn’t say anything to embarrass me. With my luck, Mr. Majors will cancel which would be disappointing.

   I am watching the tennis coverage today but my mind had been wandering into Duran Duran territory during it. I decided to check DD on FB before watching it. I saw a post about a concert at MSG on October 8. More info about the presale and general sale won’t be out until August 28.

   I am so excited but also worried about this. What if the tickets go on sale on a day that we are at the US Open? That would be bad. I am praying that this isn’t the case. I want to be able to order this as close to the start of the sale as possible.

   My twisted mind is thinking that if I have to sacrifice a day at the Open then I certainly will. I could always go there late that day. I would miss out on a match but that’s okay, unless it is Fish- that would be upsetting.

   Fish vs. Murray is on later; I am really looking forward to this one. I hope that it isn’t on too late though because I don’t think that I will last through very much of it if so. I really don’t want to DVR any tennis.

   Maybe I should not have written “presale DD” on the calendar. Mike will see this and might want to go with me. I will want to order a ticket close to the stage, even if it is expensive. He will have to sit elsewhere because I know he won’t be willing to spend that much on this.

      They showed the last game of the Robredo match; he won it. I was glad about this. James Blake is doing commentating during matches today. I still am beating myself up for being too afraid to try to get his autograph. He was doing this for a lot of people that day.

   I am trying to remain optimistic about the upcoming events that I am going to but as always I think of all the possible things that could prevent me from attending them. I will be so happy if I am able to get close to DD again, whether it is at the September 14 NYC show or the MSG one, if I even am lucky enough to get a ticket to that.

August 16, 2015- DD Ticket

I did something kind of crazy last night. I went onto Stub Hub and ordered a ticket for that Duran Duran show in NYC on September 14. I can’t even print out this until they send me an email on September 9^th. I don’t understand that. I still am worried that I might have gotten scammed and it won’t be a genuine ticket.

   Today, I just thought of another worry. What if the show is cancelled? This site probably doesn’t give refunds like Ticketmaster and others do. I would be out a lot of money- $106.60. I am praying that this doesn’t even happen and that everything works out.

   I am not hopeful that I will be able to get close to the stage but I will be happy if I am at least within the first 8 rows. I am sure that more people will get to this theater early than at the other one 2 weeks ago.

   I am sure that Sharon will be pleased that I got this ticket for the DD concert. I told her that it really seems like I am obsessed with them now. My brother seems to think so, especially when he saw that I was wearing the 1978 t-shirt.

   He did ask me what it was even about. I lifted up my long hair so he could see the Duran Duran web address on the back of it. He wanted to know the significance of the year too so I told him. He now knows about 2 DD shirts that I have- this and the one that I ordered yesterday. He will be annoyed when he sees me wearing the 3^rd shirt- Planet Earth.

August 14-16- DD Ticket Time

August 14, 2015- Duran Duran Tickets- NYC

I am a nervous wreck this morning. I was on Facebook and read about a DD general admission concert that is being held at Terminal 5 in NYC on September 14. It is for American Express card holders only; I have this through my Macy’s account.

   I couldn’t remember if I had reactivated it so I called the number. After I did this process through the automated system I was given instructions to call back after 9 a.m. to talk to a customer service rep.  I am a little anxious about this. What if there is a problem and I won’t even be able to order that ticket?

   I am also worrying about my brother criticizing me for wanting to see them again so soon. And that he might accuse me of stealing Mom’s money to pay for this.

  I can’t do the ordering of the ticket on this laptop because I don’t trust that the Wi-Fi connection will be working. It often gives me problems, unfortunately.

   I am barley remembering the PA concert. My main memories are of the socializing, the bus fuck up, and the loss of the binocular case. This is pretty frustrating and upsetting.

Later

No Duran Duran for me next month; my Amex card was deactivated due to lack of usage. I tried applying for a new card online but did not get instant approval. They will notify me in 7-10 days which by then will be too late. I bet that these tickets already sold out.

   I had to call the credit card office a couple of times and talked to 3 or 4 different people. The first call was to find out if I had screwed up by possibly activating the card twice. This is when I found out that the account was closed.

   I had to call again to ask some questions about the online form. The guy whom I spoke to was nice. I told him that I had hoped to order a concert ticket on presale with this card. He asked me which performer I wanted to see.

   When I said Duran Duran he said that he didn’t know that they were still around. I was laughing a bit on the inside about this. He mentioned that he has been to Marc Anthony and Santana concerts.

   I really hate talking on the phone but I was determined to do everything that I could to get this card in order to order that ticket. If only I had checked months ago to see if it were still active, but I didn’t realize that they would cancel your card for inactivity.

 

August 15

   I went to the Stub Hub site- I had never been there before- to check out the prices of Duran Duran tickets for that NYC show. They start at $105.00. That is above my limit. It would be tempting to spend this if I hadn’t gotten the Luke Bryan ticket though.

   I am sure that there are some fans who will be willing to pay that much and more. I will just have to hope and pray that they do a show in which I am able to order from a regular site and not through a secondary one.

June 16 2015- DD Church Concert

   I was at a Duran Duran concert at my former church. Some of my classmates from that grade school were there too. I was sitting next to a couple of them, Michelle T and Jamie. We were in the seventh pew.

   The first song that they performed was “Planet Earth” They looked about 10 years younger. Our appearance was younger too- early 30s. I haven’t seen any of my classmates in a very long time, some since the 1980s. Three of them are my Facebook friends now.

   In between some of the songs, the DD guys were talking to people in the audience. I was sitting at the end of the pew, towards the left. Simon was talking to me for a bit and even handed me a note but I didn’t look at it. I put it in my purse.

   Partway during the show, their outfits magically changed. No one seemed to think that this was odd. John was now wearing a red top and black leather pants.  His hair was at is was in around 1983. They also looked younger, about mid-30s. They stayed like this for just one song, “Rio”, then went back to as they had been before.

  After this, John was talking to a girl in the 5^th pew. I was looking at him and he seemed to be smiling at me. I was kind of embarrassed that he had seen me staring at him. I did smile back though.

   The church wasn’t even that full and some pews only had 4 or 5 people in them. It seemed as if there were approximately 200 people at this event. It was strange that there were still spaces in the pews in front of me.

    We were told that we could move up at one point. Why had they waited until like after the 5^th song to let us do this? And why had people chosen to sit further back? Unless maybe they had been told to do so.

     Michelle and I went up to the 5^th pew. I wasn’t sure if this was general admission or assigned seats- well, pews in this case. I had just popped up in this holodeck program a minute before the show began.

   Things got even weirder when during one of the new songs, we were told by Simon to get up and form a conga line. I did not feel like doing this. Some people did and were going around the perimeter of the church one time. Simon was leading this and John was also a part of it.

   Music from the danceable song was still being played by the rest of the band. I was just glad when everybody sat down again and the concert went back to normal.

   They performed a total of 14 songs; 3 were off of a new album and one was a cover version of the Police song “Walking on the Moon”. I was kind of disappointed that they hadn’t done their own moon song, “New Moon on Monday”, instead.

   There was no Encore. They just walked down the center aisle and out of the church after they did their last song, “Save a Prayer”. Jamie said that she wished that they had done a few more of their hits. I sort of did too.

   It was just about to start turning dark once I was outside. I was walking home. My alien friend Sam had telepathically told me that I had to do so and also that I lived at my old apartment.  Our church/grade school isn’t that far from my house. The program ended a few minutes later.

   I had noticed that some people were dressed in 80s type outfits but these were teens and those in their early 20s. I saw a photo booth in the parking lot and a few of these girls went into it. That was bizarre.

    I was hoping to see the DD guys out there too but didn’t. It had been an unusual but good show. I wonder what Simon’s note had said.

August 9- Duran Duran Concerts- Additional Details

August 3, 2015- Port Chester, NY

I was very happy when they did “Rio”. It had been nearly 4 years since I last have seen them perform this. They had left it off of the set list at the Foxwoods show in 2012. They probably would have done it at the AC one the following night.

   I am pretty sure that the girl behind me also had a ticket to that cancelled show. I mentioned that when I was at the Foxwoods show the night before, Nick was looking sick. She said that someone else had told her this too.

   That girl looked familiar. I probably have seen her at another concert and/or at John Taylor’s book signing in Ridgewood.

   I was able to get through my anxiety of going to this show and also communicating with people there. I can give myself credit for this. But that and the other positives don’t cancel out not being able to enjoy the full concert experience.

   I was actually in Port Chester by 2:35 p.m. I had decided to take an earlier train there. I did well with the transportation aspect of this event too, something that I had also been worrying about. I didn’t think that this town would be so crowded and trafficky. I had pictured it being more quaint and tranquil.

   Fans had actually been booing when DD weren’t coming back out for their encore. Cute guy had looked at the set list on his phone and saw that they had done encores at their last 3 concerts. After hearing that, I definitely should have been smart enough to say that we should stick around for a little longer then we wouldn’t have missed out on anything.

   I am almost certain that cute guy said that he is a teacher at West Point. He was annoyed that the girl in front of us leaned over to get stuff out of her backpack numerous times during the show. A couple of other people were too, as was I.

 

August 7, 2015- Bethlehem, PA- Musikfest

When I told Mike that they performed his two favorite songs, he said “The Reflex” and “Wild Boys” right away. The set list was basically the same as the Port Chester Saturday concert, except a little different order. “Election Day” was not on it. They did 15 songs, 2 less than at that one. Stop!-don’t even rehash the missed encore incident again.

  The girl next to me had been at the Sunday concert at that venue. She was lucky enough to be in the front row, her first time ever in such a spot. She said that they performed “Is There Something I Should Know?”

   I mentioned the cancelled Atlantic City show. Her friend also had a ticket to it. She seemed upset about this so I didn’t tell her that I had been at the Foxwoods one the night before that. I was afraid that she might be jealous.

    I was screwing up a lot when typing my email address in the notebook section of Lori’s smartphone. I had never typed on one of these before. I felt kind of embarrassed. I am really looking forward to receiving her photos of this concert.

   Jenny’s parents were nice. I talked to her Dad about tennis and the US Open. I think that he said that he has been to that event but a while back. When I told her mother that Mom likes Sinatra, she said that she can’t stand his music. It is cool that she likes DD and other music that Jenny is into.

  It was kind of ironic that I was wearing the pair of 1928 brand earrings that Cindy gave to me as a Christmas gift in the mid-1980s when she just happened to be at this concert too. I would have been feeling very nervous if I had actually encountered here there though.

 

August 8, 2015- July 18, 2014- Duran Duran in PA- Part 2

They did 2 more songs, “Hungry like the Wolf” and “Planet Earth” before John was the next speaker. Michelle T was asking him a question but I barely heard it because I was shocked to see Nick Rhodes sitting two rows in front of me.

   That was very odd; how had he gotten there and what had happened to the previous occupant of that chair?  A few seconds later he disappeared and the girl who was sitting there before returned. I heard someone saying hello to me; when I looked over to my right side, there was Nick.

    It was so cool that he was now next to and also talking to me. Jamie looked back and seemed just as surprised and thrilled. He asked me how I was doing and I said fine. I was kind of nervous as I asked him a similar question.

   I wasn’t even caring that this interaction was distracting me from what John was saying, which was definitely weird. Nick was only there for like 45 seconds before he walked back up onto the stage. The guy who had been next to me before magically reappeared.

   The other band members were also coming out to the audience after John spoke which excited the fans. What an unusual concert it had been so far. Another 15 minutes passed before they all went back onto the stage. No one seemed to mind that only 3 songs had been performed within the first hour.

   I was so happy when right before they started up the music again, I was teleported to a much better seat in the 4^th row, to the left of the stage. It was a bit nerve wracking but also wonderful being closer to one of my favorite groups, esp. the one particular member. I still can’t get over my shame of liking bassist guy.

     ” New Moon on Monday” was the next song; I’ve never seen them do this one in concert before. Well, according to my scrapbook set list from my first ever DD concert in 2000, it had been performed but I don’t remember this. Besides, it was only the “Nick and Simon Show” then. It wasn’t until 5 years later that I finally got to see the entire original band.

   The whole event lasted 2 and a half hours. The last song that they did was “Rio”. I was smiling during parts of that. They didn’t perform this one at the last show that I was at up in the Foxwoods Casino/Resort. They probably would have done so at the cancelled Atlantic City one. I still can’t believe that I went to both places in one weekend.

   This PA concert certainly was a different and interesting experience. It was still kind of early by the time we left that venue. We had to find a place to have our dinner at. It would have to be cheaper than our lunchtime one, probably a fast food eatery.

   We decided to stop at the McDonalds in the town near where my Aunt Ann lives. I’m pretty sure that all 4 of her kids worked at that place at various times during the 70s-mid 1980s.  As we were getting out of the van, the scene around me was fading and I was soon back in my house in the real world.

 

      Christmas gifts from my cousins’ McDonalds- 1970s plate set and 1980s Muppet Babies     

 

Dreamtime-

July 18, 2014- Duran Duran in PA

I was with my Girl Scout troop again, only this time we had a different leader. Miss J was blond and in her early-mid-30s. She resembled someone whom I’m familiar with but can’t think of her name right now. I wondered why our actual leader, Miss K, was not a part of this program. I was thinking how sad it is that she died. I forget how long ago that happened, maybe 10 years.

   Maybe Miss J was just a substitute leader because Miss K was sick or something like that. We were in her green van. Eleven of my troop mates were a part of this day trip. We were heading towards Peddler’s Village. I heard Jamie telling Michelle that she went there once with her aunt. I’ve been there a few times, twice with Mom, Aunt Ann and cousins.

   I discovered that there was also going to be another destination on this journey. The 2 Michelles were talking about how they couldn’t wait to see Simon. Jane said that she hoped that they would perform “Lonely in Your Nightmare”.  I was happy that we would be doing 2 fun things in one trip.

  I was sitting near the window. The view outside was beautiful; it was autumn and the leaves were in the colors of that season. The temps were in the low 60s which was mild weather for early October. We were all wearing the matching yellow jackets with our names stitched on the front upper left side.

    We arrived at Peddler’s Village by 9:30 a.m. We would be spending 2 and a half hours looking around in the shops before meeting for lunch at the Cock ‘n Bull restaurant. I’ve eaten there once or twice; the food is delicious.

   We were also observing the scarecrows that were a part of the contest. I took pictures of some of them as I did in real life. The one was a creepy spider in a web. Another was a farmer who sort of looked like my big 80s crush, Don Mattingly.

   I was hanging out with Jamie. We went into the stationary store that has a section with lots of stickers. We both bought some to add to our collections and to trade with. We looked in the toy store next. I saw a cute teddy bear that I thought about buying but someone else had done so by the time that I went back to that aisle for it.

   After lunch, we were already heading towards the concert venue which was about a 35 minute drive from Peddler’s Village. It seemed strange but also nice that Duran Duran was doing a show in such a rural environment. As if they would do so in reality. And even odder was that it was taking place starting at 3 p.m.

   The place was pretty small too; capacity of around 360 people. How had we been so lucky to get tickets for such an event? Maybe Sam would telepathically answer this after the program. Our troop’s seats were scattered in the same general area which was also kind of weird. I was sitting right behind Jamie.

   The two Michelles were lucky, they got to sit next to each other closer to the stage. I was a little jealous of them. I was mostly grateful that we were even there at all. I was in the 10^th row which was about the midway point.

   The band came out onto the stage 25 minutes later. The first song that they performed was “All You Need is Now” Their appearance was as it had been 6 years ago. Simon had the beard and mustache though. We looked as we did in the mid-1980s. I wondered why Sam hadn’t made them closer to their age at that time too. Time is always pretty bizarre in this fantasy world.

   After this song, Simon was talking for about 15 minutes. He answered some questions next. I was assuming that the other DD guys would be doing the same thing throughout this show which did turn out to be the case.

  August 8, 2015- More DD in PA

Jenny said that she has been to 33 DD concerts since 1987. I wish that I had been to more than 10 over the past 10 years, like another one during their 2007 Broadway run.

   She has a lot of tour shirts. I told her that I finally bought my first two and that I am getting over my shame of wearing them.  We were looking at the ones that they had for sale there. I saw one that I would be interested in but I really don’t have the money for another one now.

   She was at John's book signing in NYC. He also signed a pick of his that she had been lucky enough to catch at a concert. She actually has two of them. He wasn’t really signing other stuff besides the book but he did this for her which was nice.

   I told Jenny that I would have loved to have seen them when they were younger. She added when we were younger to that statement. I did mention to her my ridiculous afterlife fantasy of our spirits going to any concerts that we want to. I am pretty sure that I told either Lori and/or the girl next to me that too.

   The girl next to me said that she gets teased about being so passionate about them. I said that my brother teases me about them too but uses the word obsessed. I like the word she used and also devoted. I bet that if I had been into them when I was younger, I would be even more passionate about them now. I really wish that I had been.

   Jenny agreed with me when I said that I wish that we could go to another DD concert soon. It will be a long time before they are in this area again. I’m sure that they will wait until around March or April to do the Garden. I will certainly try to get a good seat through the fan club then.

   I checked my email and saw a lot of Facebook stuff of Jenny’s on there, including some of her photos of the concert. I felt so good when I saw that she referred to me as her new Duranie friend. I did respond to this, saying that meeting and hanging (forgot to add out after this word) with her made this event even more special.

 

 

August 7- DD Concert- Bethlehem PA

I arrived in Bethlehem by noon. I should have taken a little bit later bus. I didn’t realize that there really isn’t much to do in that area. I had my lunch and wrote in my journal in a small park. I then went to Rite Aid where I got some Tic-Tacs.

   I looked in an upscale thrift shop then did some more sitting around and a bit of daydreaming in another area of that park.

   When I finally walked to the outdoor venue- Steel Stacks- I heard “Come Undone” DD was obviously doing a sound check. Part of me was thinking that maybe this was just on a stereo system at first. After that, I heard “Is There Something I Should Know?”

   I actually approached a girl in a Planet Earth t-shirt like I have but in blue and began talking to her around that time. We walked over to the fenced in area to try to find a spot where maybe we would be able to peek in to see DD but no such luck.

   I hung out with this girl, Jenny, and her parents before the show. They were so nice. Jenny also likes JT. I told her that I was ashamed about liking him and she said that I shouldn’t be.

   When her phone rang, I heard “Is There Something I Should Know?” as the ringtone. We were certain that they would be doing this during the show but that didn’t happen. So I guess that they don’t always perform stuff that is done during sound check.

   Jenny shared part of her chicken salad sub sandwich from Wawa with me. That saved me some money on dinner. I had only brought my lunch and some snacks and juice boxes with me.

     Jenny and her mother had good seats in the front section. Those tickets were all grabbed up by the employees of this venue and anyone who makes a pledge to its arts foundation; they were the first to go on presale.

   A small part of me is wishing that I had just made that pledge but that would have been an additional $100.00 that I would have had to take out of my auto repair fund. It is bad enough that I have been dipping into this for other DD stuff lately.

   It was cool that a couple of people who sat near me actually remembered me from previous DD concerts and events. Lori was the girl at the JT book signing who sent me some photos of it. The girl next to me was at the Wellmont and Central Park shows. I didn’t think that I was that memorable.

   Lori said that she would send me photos of this show. I felt bad that I didn’t say goodbye to her. I was worried about possibly missing the bus.

   I used my binoculars way too much during this concert, mostly on bassist guy. The lady to my left must have thought that I was obsessed with him. She motioned for me to move over so that I could get an even better view of him. That was nice of her.

   The show was good but it went by way too quickly; it only lasted for 75 minutes. Jenny and I didn’t care for the opening act, a girl singer. Her dad drove me to the bus stop. I am now Facebook friends with her.

   Unfortunately, I screwed up the bus schedule. I thought that the last bus to NYC was at 11:30 but it turns out that this is the last one from NYC to here. The driver said that the next one wasn’t until 7:30 a.m. and suggested that I stay at a hotel down the road.

   Thank goodness that a nice guy who I had been talking to while waiting for the bus offered to drive me to the Sands Resort Casino. I discovered that there was a 1:45 a.m. bus to NYC from this destination. That was a very long 2 hour wait for me.

   I did worry that the driver would say that I could not go on the bus because my ticket was for the other stop but luckily she didn’t. It’s the same line and the stop was not that far from this one.

   I was so damn exhausted. I think that I did fall half asleep for a bit during the ride. I had to wait about an hour for the first train to Linden at Penn Station.

   I went into Quick Check hoping to find a mocha Frappuccino. I was so happy that they had this. I took the cab home; I had just missed the first bus to my town.

   My brother was already awake when I got home. I was hoping to get a little peace and quiet before he woke up. I told him all about my adventure. I am sure that he thinks that it was crazy that I took a bus to PA just to see DD.

   I don’t remember when I first discovered that I had accidentally left the binocular case with the lens covers in it at the venue. I was very upset about this. I am too afraid to tell my brother about it.

   I found out from looking on Facebook that our childhood friend Cindy was also at this concert. Jenny had tagged me in a photo that she took at it. Cindy saw this and left a comment. I think it said “You were in my backyard.” She lives in Allentown.

    I did reply to this. We don’t usually interact on this site or elsewhere, except for birthday wishes. I haven’t seen her since her grandfather’s funeral in 1992.

   Even though I was upset about the bus fiasco, I was kind of glad that I didn’t get it right. If I had noticed that there wasn’t a bus until the next morning I probably would have never ordered a ticket for this venue.

    I am sure that Amy will say that she is proud of me for socializing at this event. I guess that I did an okay job of it but I was still feeling pretty anxious. I can’t see that I will ever feel comfortable doing so. That is kind of pathetic. I wish that I could be normal.

June 26, 2015- Communication

I had to talk to our neighbor when I was leaving the house for my therapy appointment. He was planting flowers in his yard. I had prayed that he would temporarily go inside so I could avoid this. Just saying hello and commenting on how nice the flowers are was a major effort.

   Yesterday, I was  about to take the bag out to the garbage can but when I saw our other neighbor out in his yard I put it down and waited until he went back inside before doing this. It’s not as if he is a monster that I should be fearful of but to me most interactions with people are frightening.

   I keep putting off getting a haircut because I am too anxious to call for an appointment and also about having to make small talk with the stylist when I am there.

   I am feeling less like talking to people now than ever before. It is just too difficult and mentally exhausting. I don’t have much to say and I am not that good at expressing myself. I really don’t even like the sound of my own voice. Also, it mostly feels like I am putting on a big act. I prefer just being an observer.

   Amy said that we will have to work on this issue but I don’t see how it would be possible for me to ever feel comfortable socializing. I am sure that most people would think that it is strange that it is so hard for me.

   I am the complete opposite of my brother who is very talkative even to strangers. I have moments when I feel less uneasy speaking to people but not that often. I am better at it in my dreams. If only this could be the case in reality too.

   Sometimes, Mike doesn’t understand what I am telling him so I have to re-explain myself which is frustrating. I have to do this for Mom and even my therapist occasionally too. Did I not say things clearly or do they just not get it? I mostly blame myself for not being good at communication.

    At times he criticizes what I am saying and/or tries to correct the way that I have done so. This makes me kind of afraid to even talk to him. He also does this to Mom.

   I often have to repeat myself to Mom and Mike because of their hearing problems and/or the fact that they aren’t really paying that much attention to me. Saying things the first time is hard enough so doing this again is tiring.

    It is also upsetting that they sometimes think that I am speaking in an angry tone which is far from the truth. I am a low talker so my voice just may sound like I am yelling when I raise it. They-particularly my brother-don’t seem to believe this, however.

   My brother occasionally will change the subject that I have brought up partway through our conversation because he seems bored and would rather talk about himself/his interests. This is pretty rude and upsetting.

   Occasionally, I worry that perhaps other people are also kind of uninterested in what I have to say. I have felt this way for a long time. I am sure that Amy would tell me that I need to change these negative types of thoughts. That is going to be very difficult.

 

Dreamtime-

February 3, 2012- DD Video/Cartoon Characters

I got to be in a Duran Duran video in the holodeck. I must have won a contest. It was sort of a strange video for a song that doesn’t even exist in my reality. Weirder yet was that it was being filmed in a few places in Cranford.

   The DD guys and the crew were staying at the same hotel – The Coachman Inn. This hasn’t been there for many years. Another hotel is but I’m not even sure of its name. It was cool seeing this place again. I got to hang out with the group there for a little while, also part of the prize.

    When I was a kid, I was always so excited and relieved to see the big sign for that hotel as we were driving home on the Parkway from either the shore or the mall. I did have fun at those places but the thought of being home again was comforting, esp. when my Ginger pup was around.

    They made me look glamorous for the video, doing my hair and makeup and giving me a beautiful and expensive outfit to wear. I was looking semi-pretty to begin with, which I have no idea how the aliens create such an illusion but I wish that they’d let me stay that way in the real world.

   I was chatting with Nick about fashion and makeup for about 15 minutes. I wasn’t even feeling nervous. I didn’t really say much to the others, just the basic hello and other small talk.

     Everyone in the video was moving in slow motion during part of it, only this was actually really happening and not added as a special effect later. No one thought that this was odd.

   When I left the hotel, my father was in the parking lot. Why did he have to be a part of this? I hope that he was a good Dad in this reality. Were my parents still married here? It was present day but everyone looked 10-15 years younger.

   Dad was standing near our 1984 tan Buick Century. He told me that he had been at Woodbridge Mall but that when he was driving home on the Parkway as he reached our exit-136-that suddenly our town was no longer there. A forest was now in its place.

   I said “How is this possible?”  Our town is very close to this hotel; when I looked over in that direction I saw that he was right. I told him that maybe it still is there but that it is now beyond the forest

    Dad seemed pretty upset about this.  I told him that maybe we should just go somewhere for coffee before checking this out. I also said that maybe afterwards things would be back to normal in our town.

   He took us someplace in Kenilworth. We went on the Parkway to get there. During that drive, I saw a very strange but also funny site – there were cartoon characters in their vehicles on this road also. There was Scooby and the gang in the Mystery Machine van, which is my all-time favorite cartoon. Others included Batman and Robin, The Flinstones, Hong Kong Phooey and The Blue Falcon and Dynomutt.

   It ended after we had our coffee so I don’t know if our town was where it should be again; hopefully it was. I’ve lived there all of my life and probably will until the day that I die.

The Blue Falcon and Dynomutt

 

Note- bottom 2 photos are from the internet

July 22, 2015- My Brother- Part 2

  

 

Mike hit me in the face with his Tonka Jeep accidentally which knocked out my baby tooth. I liked playing with that jeep and other toys of his like the Big Wheel from Grandma at the farm, Lincoln Logs and his action figures.

   He didn’t have that many- a few each of “Battlestar Galactica”, Star Trek -The Motion Picture, and Star Wars. Missy had a whole Darth Vader head case full of the latter; we were always jealous of our cousin for this.

   I’d look at his “Star Trek” slides on my View Master which I still have. He got rid of his but kept the slides which is kind of strange. The “Yogi Bear/Huckleberry Hound” and Scenic Wonders of America are both of ours. I have Sleeping Beauty, The Rescuers and the Muppets.

   We both had the Rescuers lunch boxes, after that it was Tupperware ones. We were really into the Disney movies when we were kids. Mom said that they took us to see many of these films at Ed and Aunt Joan’s theaters. I only remember a few like The Jungle Book, The Rescuers and Sleeping Beauty.

   We still have 3 Disney records- It’s a Small World, The Best of Disney (2 album set) and Mary Poppins. I remember some of the words to “Let’s Go Fly a Kite”. Dad played “Chim- Chim -Cheree “on his violin once.

   That’s the only time that we’ve ever heard him play. I don’t know why he gave it up- he was good. Mom said that he had taken lessons for a long time.

    Dad signed Mike up for the higher amount of judo lessons which he wasn’t too happy about. Even Mom had told Dad to go for the lower amount. My brother eventually quick going to them, but I forget how far into this he did so. He was in one competition in which he earned a yellow belt.

   We liked going to that Sears in Watchung with our parents; it was like a mini adventure for us. That town is about 25 minutes away but it seemed much further. Isn’t that the case about a lot of places when you are a kid? - Possibly not for everyone though.

   My brother would sometimes wander off in that and other department stores which was annoying and a bit worrisome. We would have an employee page him to meet up with us when we were unable to find him.

   He does the same thing these days occasionally which is still irritating. I don’t have him paged though. Sometimes I think about doing so.

   Were we weird kids for having fun when we went to such places as a furniture store like Huffman Koos and to home improvement stores – Channel and Rickel. I loved looking at the paint colors and sometimes took those sample card things home. I also liked the smell of the lumber there.  All 3 places are no longer in business.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                            

 
Note- Photos from internet- stores, violin, action figures, jeep, lunch boxes, Lincoln Logs, and Big Wheel.