March 11, 2016- Wrangler Day- Part 2

We were able to get into the 2^nd taping thanks to the 2 girls behind us, a little lie, and the niceness of the staff. We hadn’t realized that we were on the regular line of people with tickets and not the standby one.

   The one girl had an extra 2 person ticket that she gave us. Neither of our names were on their list since we hadn’t actually signed up for this but Sally made it seem like we had. They made an exception, thank goodness.

   This was the taping of Meredith’s last show ever. There were a lot of flashback and farewell clips. The only guests were Mario Cantone and Joy Behar; neither of us were thrilled about this.

   I wish that one or more of the 4 that had been part of a clip segment that was made to seem like a live part of this show had been there. Three were from the Today show- Willie Geist, Hoda Kotb, and Kathie Lee. Regis Philbin was the other one.

   There is a panel segment with 4 other hosts besides her but I only knew one of them, Lance Bass who used to be in the group NSYNC. Sally told me that this part hadn’t been added to the 2^nd season and that she didn’t really care for it.

  Meredith’s cute little doggie was roaming around the studio during part of the show. He got close to us at one point. I wish that I could remember his name and that I had gotten a picture of him. You were only allowed to snap shots before and after the taping.

   She came up into the audience at the end of the show and was hugging people. Both Sally and I received a hug from her. I think that she might have even given me a kiss on the cheek. That seemed sort of surreal. She seems like a very nice lady.

   I did a lot of walking with Sally which was kind of tiring but what was even more exhausting was the socializing that I did. Naturally, I felt anxious and also like I was putting on an act during this. It is so pathetic that something so basic is always hard for me to do.

   Amy and Sharon would say that I did a good job of this. I can semi-agree with them. The day certainly turned out to be fun and also different from what I had expected. I am glad that I was able to motivate myself into going into the city.

   I still can’t help being mad at myself for not catching the earlier train though. I know- I have to try to let that go. I am dreading checking my email because I had entered to win a VIP pass for this special Wrangler event. I will be even more upset if I had indeed won this and could have been really close to him.

   I wish that I hadn’t been too afraid to go see Wrangler one or more other times, especially when he was a puppy. Amy is just going to tell me not to do the “if only” thing. That is so difficult in many cases particularly because of my defective brain problem.

   I didn’t get home until around 5:07. I was feeling so nervous when driving from the train station because there was already a lot of cars on the road. I prayed that I wouldn’t get into an accident.

   Mike was asleep on the couch. He woke up shortly after I ate my dinner. I showed him my photos and told him about the Meredith hug. We watched some of the Indian Wells tennis tournament. His constant talking, my tired brain, and wandering thoughts made it hard to focus on this though.

 

 

 

 

 

March 11, 2016- Wrangler Day- Part 1

I almost didn’t go into the city to see Wrangler on his last day at the “Today” show yesterday. He will now be starting his formal training as an assistance/guide dog.

    I kept coming up with reasons not to do so- my head hurt, driving and social anxieties, not wanting to deal with the noise and crowds, feeling ugly and like too much of a loser to be out in public, and the thought that “It’s just a dog- I don’t really need to see him” (that is what my brother says even though he likes Wrangler too.)

   My desire to take a mini-break from my family managed to overpower all of this which was pretty surprising to me.

   I only wish that this had happened sooner. I was up by 4:15 and settled into my normal early morning routine of watching TV while eating my breakfast. It was after doing this that I quickly got ready for my adventure. I didn’t even brush my teeth or wash my face.

   I arrived at the Plaza by about 6:55. There was already a good sized crowd there so I wasn’t able to get close to the area where the hosts briefly do the show 2 times during the 8:00 hour. It was disappointing that I would not get to be close to Wrangler.

   Carson did bring him swiftly around the whole Plaza area for a victory lap so I got to see him a bit then. Only a couple of my photos of this adorable pooch came out good. One was from a distance; the zoom on my camera isn’t that good. My 3 shots of Roker came out better. I would rather have more great shots of Wrangler!

   An employee was handing out standby tickets for the “Meredith Vieira Show”. I don’t usually watch that but I liked her when she was on the “Today” show. I was lucky enough to get one. This was after I had moved up closer to the broadcast area.

   Sally, the girl who had been standing next to me earlier but was now in a different spot, had also gotten one. I met up with her again as I was walking to 30 Rock. We hung out together then. I hadn’t really said much to her before this.

   We were not able to get into the first taping but were told to come back and try for the second one. Sally wanted to go to the Disney store so I showed her where it is. We went to the bagel place that she said was voted the best in the city afterwards. I got one to take home since I had brought my lunch with me.

   I am fairly certain that Sally is from Ohio and is originally from upstate NY, somewhere near Albany. I hate that I have such a craptastic memory. She has an English Springer spaniel named Lucy. I told her that I love spaniels and used to have a cocker named Buffy Willow.

   Often I feel some sadness when seeing doggies because this makes me think of her and how she would have been in our lives longer if only we had taken better care of her and had gotten a second opinion about that damn steroid allergy med. She wouldn’t have had 12-15 months of such suffering also.

   I told Sally that I like country music. She said that she enjoys some of it too, including Rascal Flatts. I think that she also mentioned that her daughter used one of their songs at her wedding reception.

Wrangler

Al Roker

 

February 28, 2015- Our Town-Part 2

Our Apartments

I loved our old apartment. That place is in most of my dreams probably because it felt like home which this one that we’ve been at since October 1993 never really has.

   Mom’s parents had lived there since the mid or late 1940s. When her father died in 1967, her mother let Mom and Dad have the place. She moved to her brothers’ farm in South Jersey.

  The unit that we lived in had 3 single floor apartments. Dad had lived in the middle one with his family. Mike and I used to sometimes call his mother our grandma-next-door and Mom’s was our grandma-at-the-farm.

   Our grandfather had built a small addition on the front of the apartment in which we kept our fridge and a cabinet. This gave us more room in the kitchen which was pretty small.

    My parents used to sleep on a hide-a-bed that was in the living room when Mike and I each had our own rooms. Mike was in the small one at first and I was in the bigger one. We had to share the big room once our parents moved into the smaller in 1977 or 1978.

   My parents built my brother a room in the basement and I moved into theirs in the early 80s. That sky blue room was my bedroom for a few years. The sliding door closet was so cool. Sometimes I used to hide in there, hugging my Poochie bear and crying when I was very upset about my parents arguing or being picked on at school.

   I was so happy when they built me a bigger room in the basement. It had brown paneling and plush dusty rose carpeting. The other section of it was like a living room for Mike and me. Dad still had his little section near the washer and dryer.

   Mom’s father had built cabinets that were hanging on the wall. We stored all sorts of things inside of them including games, toys, Tupperware, and other kitchen stuff.

   I loved the paneling and carpeting in that apartment. I’m sure that a lot of people would find the former type of décor cheesy, tacky, and very outdated. The township made us tear most of the ground floor paneling down and paint those walls before we moved.

   The 3 of us would still be there if Dad hadn’t moved into his mom’s place during and after the divorce in 1992. No, we really should all be living on our own and it’s pathetic that we don’t.

   We are now in a two floor, 4 apartment unit on the other side of our very small town. There are 3 other kinds of units in it. I can’t believe that we have been here for 22 years. That is almost as long as we were at the old one.

   My room is smaller which sucks. I can’t even really rearrange my furniture in it like I used to enjoy doing occasionally in my basement bedroom. The cellar is small and pretty creepy too. I shouldn’t even be complaining; at least I still have a home.

   I can’t picture living anywhere else but in this town. I have been here all of my life. The 75^th anniversary of it is coming up this fall. They are having a big celebration then. I am already anxious about going to it.

   A big part of me wants to skip out on it like I did for the 60^th one because of this issue. I was at the 50^th but I don’t really remember much about it. My brother and mother know many people in town but I don’t. I don’t even go to our neighbor’s annual barbecue party with them.

Cabinets

 

Furnished basement 1982

Sliding door closet-my room 1984

My room 1991

Mike's room 1985

Front porch 1972

 

Front porch and fridge 1983

Front porch addition 1981

 

 

 

 

 

Dreamtime

February 27 2016- 1987 Again

I was sitting on the couch in my living room reading the TV Guide one moment and the next I was in the basement of our old apartment. I was sitting on the bean bag chair made of blue jean type material. A music magazine was in my hands.

   The page that I was looking at had an article about John Taylor on it. The picture of him was very nice. He looked as he did in Duran Duran’s Notorious album days. I was so happy to see this.

  My outfit was different in this reality. I was wearing the gray top with geometric designs and belt with Chic jeans like I used to have. Mom would usually get me that brand and PS Gitano from Bradlees, the department store that she worked at.

   I was sort of jealous of my classmates who had the more expensive designer brands like Jordache,   Sassoon, Gloria Vanderbilt, Calvin Klein, and Sergio Valente.

   It was odd that my bedroom was not in the cellar. I saw my Teddy bear calendar on the wall- it was April 1987. By then, my room had been down there for about a year and 9 months.

   My brother’s room was here though. My parent’s had built it in 1982, I think. We used to have to share the big bedroom upstairs.

   This section of the cellar was still as it had been before that, including the tan carpet. The brown paneling was a part of the décor for as long as I could remember and remained there as part of my room.

   The bean bag chair was placed in the center. I remember it mostly being up in the sitting room, which was formerly my bedroom.

   The blue couch was up against the wall with the end table next to it. My small, black Panasonic boom box was on that table.

  The big wooden stereo/TV cabinet was there too. It was in our living room in the 1970s. Sliding doors were on the front of this. The television was in the center and on top of it was the turntable underneath a cover. I can’t remember if the stereo had AM/FM.

   The compartment for records was next to the TV.  Mostly, my parent’s albums- Johnny Cash, Elvis, Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra and Christmas ones by various artists-were in it. A few of my brother’s and my Disney records- It’s A Small World, Mary Poppins, and The Best of Disney – were too. We still have all of these.

   I loved having a furnished basement. The one that we have in our current apartment is pretty creepy. I hate even going down there to do the laundry.

  Was I home alone? So far, it seemed that way. But then I heard someone coming down the stairs. When I looked over at the staircase, I saw my Ginger pup. I was extremely happy to see her.

  Ginger was such a good and beautiful doggie. She was a terrier mix. I think that she might have had some Shetland sheepdog in her too. She looked somewhat like the famous dog Benji.

   I sat up on the couch and Ginger jumped up next to me. I gave her a big hug and she licked my cheek. It was wonderful that she was still alive in this fantasy world. Dad had her put to sleep in November of 1986 in reality.

   I will always be mad at him for this. He never even had the vet find out what was making her so sick. It might have just been an infection that meds could have cured.

   I petted her and told her how much that I love her. She would always comfort me whenever I was feeling sad. I hope that I get to see her again in the afterlife.

   The radio magically came on then. I heard Casey Kasem talking; his “America’s Top 40” was on. The next song was Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer”.

   I wasn’t even into that group back then but did have a poster of Jon on the wall. I had won it at a ring toss game down the shore. I thought that he was kind of cute which is why I kept it and put it there.

   My interest in Bon Jovi wasn’t until 2000 and lasted about 11 years. It was never as intense as the Duran Duran one though. Is it weird that I wasn’t a big fan of either until many years later than my classmates?

   I went over to the cabinets that our grandfather had built into the wall. We kept our games, Tupperware, and other items in there. As I was about to open one of them, the scenery began to fade. It was disappointing that I didn’t get to remain in the alien holodeck for any longer but I was glad that I did have a bit of time with my sweet doggie.

 

Bean bag chair

Blue couch

 

Stereo cabinet

 

 

Ginger

Panasonic boom box

Jon Bon Jovi

Cabinet

Tupperware

 

Note- internet photos- jeans, magazine, and 2nd Panasonic boom box.

 

 

February 28, 2015- Our Town- Part 1

The Store

 We lived only a couple blocks from the convenience store (the only one in our town) at our old apartment. Our Aunt Joan lived right near it but she would usually ask Mike and me to go there for her. She sometimes would give us a quarter each for doing so.

   We probably got her cigarettes occasionally like we did for Dad. I was doing this even when I was as young as 9 years old. His brand was Kool and hers was Parliament 100s. They sold liquor there too.

   Mike, Cindy, Jessica and I got yelled at by the owner Lou once because we were sitting on the floor counting our money out before buying our candy. What a grouchy guy he was. They had to rebuild the place after a fire but I forget what year that was- early 1980s?

   The owners after him, Dave and Valerie, were very nice. One of mom’s friends, Betty, worked there. They catered our town’s 50^th Anniversary celebration in 1992. By the mid-1990s they sold the business which is a shame. We didn’t go there much after that.

   It went out of business sometime in 2014. A bakery/deli is supposed to open there soon. Mom told Mike and me that our town used to have a small Shop Rite. I should ask her when that closed down.

  

The Carnival

My favorite rides at our town carnival were the Scrambler, The Tilt-A-Whirl and the Octopus. There was one called the Bullet but Mike and I never went on that; it looked too scary to me. They used to have pony rides there when we were kids. I don’t think that we ever went on one though. I’d have to ask mom.

  The money raised at this event helped the fire department and ambulance squad. It was always held around the time of Mom’s birthday, July 30^th. We played the 50/50 sometimes but never won that and we weren’t that lucky at the games either. I did win a unicorn picture once.

   The food there was good.  Mom and Mike love the barbecued ribs. Mike likes the zeppoles also. After the early 90s the variety to choose from was lessened which was disappointing.

1972

Mid-1980s

The Octopus

The Bullet

 

Note- last 4 photos are from the internet

 

February 26- Chris Young and DD

The Chris concert was good. I got close to the stage, like a 3^rd row behind the VIP people who had been let in first. I had stood on the line outside for 2 and a half hours.

   Even though I enjoyed this experience, my mind was wandering during it. I hate that one of the thoughts was that I wish that I could be this close to the stage at a Duran Duran concert again. I was also beating myself up over my DD screw ups of 2015 once more.

   I wish that I had mainly been focusing on Simon at the Terminal 5 show. I will never get to be that near him again. I didn’t need to pay a lot of attention to bassist guy then. I have done so enough before.

   It isn’t good that I couldn’t wait until the show was over so I could go home to bed. I was lucky enough to get to Penn Station in time for the 11:06 train. I was in bed by 12:05. I thought that I might sleep later than usual but my internal alarm got me up by 5 a.m.

   I just wasn’t feeling that enthused about the music as I was at his show in Long Island last summer. Maybe part of the reason was that I was still feeling a little sick. I wasn’t even going gaga over him like I used to either. Maybe I am over that crush by now.

   I feel bad for thinking that I would have rather been at another country artist’s concert, like Alan Jackson, Vince Gill, or Garth Brooks.

   I didn’t lie to my brother about where I was going. I just didn’t feel like inventing a cover story. I will definitely have to come up with a few of those for the DD concerts though. He teased me about Chris, naturally.

   I should have been more into my 3 favorite songs- “Aw Naw”, “You”, and “Who I am With You” but I just wasn’t feeling that excited about them. I couldn’t help thinking that I wish that I had been at that whole DD show in Port Chester to see “Careless Memories”. I certainly would have been very enthused about that.

   Crap- I am sounding super obsessed with that group again, aren’t I? I couldn’t even go a night in which I was supposed to be fully enjoying my country boy’s concert without thinking about them. That is pretty bad.

   My head hurts a lot this morning because of my cold and the loudness of the music last night. Great-my brother just slammed the front door so now it is feeling worse.

   I am glad that I layered up my outfit yesterday; the temps were colder than I expected plus the wind made things worse.

   I was sitting in Penn Station for like an hour and 20 minutes reading my James Patterson book and eating my dinner before heading to the theater. I finished that novel while on line there. I had started it last July. It is pathetic that it took me so long to complete. It is the only book that I have read in this time period.

   The opening act, Cassadee Pope, was okay. She did a cover version of Billy Joel’s “Movin’ Out”.   

   Mike is excited that Peter Davison has been added to the guest list at the LI Doctor Who convention. I am happy for him. It would be nice if this event could be in my budget. My funds have been mostly devoted to Duran Duran stuff this past year.

   I probably will be going to the Chiller Theatre show with him and Tony in April. The 3 main stars of “CHiPs” are going to be there. They probably will be in a separate room like the “Batman” ones were last time which sucks.

   That would mean that I would have to get an autograph in order to see them. I wouldn’t mind getting that of Robert Pine, but do I really need this? I will think about it.

  I didn’t really journal much about Chris, did I? I just don’t feel like it. Gosh, this makes it seem like I wasn’t even that glad that I went to this concert. Wasn’t I wishing that I could be closer to him when I was at the LI show?

   Well, I got my wish yet part of me isn’t even that overjoyed about it. Maybe tomorrow I will be feeling this positive emotion. I am just in a very bad place emotionally today.

 

Dreamtime-

November 16, 2014- Strange Building                                                                                                       

Mom and I were visiting Aunt Ann for a couple of days. We had taken the train to get there. She had picked us up from Trenton station. We went to Columbus Flea Market, a couple of thrift shops and a few other stores. She took us out for lunch a couple of times. We looked as we did in the mid-1990s.

   It was odd that Dad was taking us home. My parents were divorced in this reality too but got along okay. He had been to Columbus Market and picked us up afterwards. His car was the 1976 Chevy Malibu station wagon. He had that until about 1990.

   I was feeling so tired that I had to take a nap during the ride home. When I woke up, I saw that we were close to NYC. Why were we going there? I found out that Mom had a dentist appointment in the city. This was bizarre because she really goes to a dental clinic in New Brunswick.

   I was feeling even more exhausted when sitting in the waiting area with them. I had a feeling that the mean aliens were somehow causing me to feel this way. I fell asleep and when I woke up saw that the setting had entirely changed.

    I was in a waiting area but in a nightclub. I saw lots of posters of music stars from the 1980s on the wall, including The Thompson Twins, Depeche Mode, Howard Jones, Duran Duran and a few of just John Taylor. I also heard “Our House” by Madness playing on a stereo system.

    There were 8 other people here. Two of them were sitting behind a reception type desk. Was I in the same building as before?  I did try leaving it only I wound up right back inside which made me feel like I was trapped here.

   I went back to my seat. Sitting nearby was a guy who resembled John Taylor, circa 1983. He was dressed in a red top, black leather pants, and a black jacket. He saw that I looked anxious and told me not to worry and to just enjoy myself.

   We started talking. His name was Joe. I saw a guy who looked like Howard Jones and then heard Joe saying “He’s cute” about him which made me smile.

   A girl in an outfit like Pat Benatar wore in her “Love is a Battlefield” video approached Joe. She seemed really interested in him. He told her that he has a boyfriend.

   She was disappointed but then moved onto another John Taylor double, circa 1981. He was wearing a white puffy shirt and black leather pants and had the burgundy hair. Joe said “not bad” about his outfit.

   I was feeling a little less anxious now. Joe said that it was time to go inside. I don’t normally like nightclubs and have only been to one ever (in NYC for a 2009 DD Megabash event). Luckily, the music wasn’t so loud as it had been there.

   This place had video screens. “The Reflex’ had just started. Joe said that this is one of his favorite Duran Duran songs. He asked me to come out onto the dance floor with him. I was hesitant but he convinced me to do so. I wasn’t even feeling that embarrassed unlike in the real world.

   After that, I told Joe that I had to go to the restroom and that I would meet him at one of the tables when I got back. Unfortunately, the scene faded and I was now in my actual bedroom. I wished that I could have been at that club for a little longer.

Columbus Flea Market

 

Note- Columbus Flea Market and Pat Benatar photos are from the internet