My Brave Spaniel

Our Buffy gave me quite a scare yesterday. She usually comes into the dining room when we are eating but when she didn't jump off of the couch to join us, I went into the living room to check on her. I said her name a few times and even touched her but she didn't respond. I thought that maybe she had died but Mom said that she was still breathing, thank goodness. Mom did manage to wake her and she came out to join us for lunch. We always give her a treat then.

I just worry everytime that we go out that when we come home she will no longer be alive. I'm so happy that she has hung in there for this long. It has already been 8 months since the doctor said that she is dying because of multiple organ problems. She's had many problems throughout her 12 years on this planet, but through it all she has been a very brave girl.

She had surgery to remove a cyst on her ear about 6 years ago. She broke her back leg once. She's had arthritis and allergies for many years. She had pancreatis last year which was very scary. She had to stay at the vet's office for 2 nights and was hooked up to an IV. I just pray that when her final day on this planet comes that she does not suffer and dies in her sleep. I'm praying that we'll have her with us for another few months or more.

I love her so much. She is like my best friend. I'm sure that some people might think that I'm a bit kooky for saying this and for having lots of nicknames for her. Sunshine spaniel, Muffin, Cupcake, Sugar Plum, Miss Piggy, Piglet, Pumpkin and more. Sometimes we joke around and pick on her because she has a super short stub. She has the cutest freckles on her snout.

Mom has made her lots of bandanas. She has her Easter one on now. She has a grooming appointment in 2 weeks and they give her bandanas as well. We don't dress her up or anything like that. She does have a coat that my Aunt Al got for her as a Christmas gift 9 years ago.

I keep thinking about how I should've been a better owner to her. We hardly took her on any walks. She is kind of lazy but we could've taken her on short ones. I only brushed her teeth when she was a puppy. I should've done so all along. Her teeth got pretty bad. The vet suggested that we have them done a few years ago but this is expensive. If I had just saved money instead of buying too much jewelry and clothes for myself I could have afforded this. I finally had it done last year. The vet tech said that heart problems can be caused by bad teeth so maybe this is part of why she has that problem. I mentioned the whole hating myself for not taking her off of the steroids in my Buffy blog. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for all this.

Even though the arthritis in her back legs has gotten much worse, she still goes up the stairs on her own, although sometimes we carry her up there. I always worry that she might fall down the stairs though. She is such a grandma's girl and wants to be with her most of the time. I'm suprised that she is still downstairs with me now. We have been sitting together alot lately. We did this for an hour this morning. Her grandma wasn't even down here then. It felt nice that she wanted to be with me. Ginger was definitely my doggie when I was a kid. I still miss her and always will. Same goes for Mookie and someday Buffy too- hopefully not too soon.

My Ginger pup

I think about my dog Ginger alot. I only had her for about 7 years but it should have been longer. She was really sick but my dad wouldn't pay the vet bill to find out what was wrong with her and just had her put to sleep. It might have been just something like an infection and medicine would have made her better. I can never forgive him for this. Maybe God is displeased with me for thinking this way. She was my best friend and would always comfort me when I was upset, especially when my parents were arguing. She's a terrier mix who looked a little like Benji. We got her in 1979, I think, and by the fall of 1986 she was no longer around. I hope that someday I get to see her and all my doggies again. One day she somehow got into a bottle of cough syrup and drank nearly the whole thing and was foaming at the mouth- poor baby. She loved playing with empty plastic soda bottles. I wish that I could remember more of the good times that I had with her but my brain seems to hold onto the bad memories which are very vivid and the good ones are hazy and seem just like a dream.

I wish that my family and I never took that trip to Virginia in late summer 1986. Ginger started getting sick shortly after we returned. We had put her in the boarding place at the vet's office- she must have picked up a sickness of some sort there. Usually my uncle took care of her when we went away but he wasn't able to that time. Am I a terrible person for still being so angry at my dad? He was always willing to lend money to his brothers and sister which they hardly ever paid back yet he wouldn't give us money to find out what was wrong with my doggie- he knew how much that I loved her. Maybe he was mad at me for some reason and took out his anger in this way. Maybe if I visited his mother more like he wanted me to he would've paid for that vet bill. It's really not fair if that's the case. I can't seem to let this go. Ginger was the best doggie ever. I love our Buffy now too, but she's more of a grandma's girl and Ginger was definitely my girl.