Thanksgiving Memories

My parents, brother and I would spend Thanksgiving at our grandma at the farm's house in the 70s and early 80s. She lived about an hour away and I always enjoyed the drive down there. She moved in with her brothers at the farm after my parents got married and she let them have her apartment. We didn't get to see her much - 3 or 4 times a year. It's not fair that Dad didn't want us going to visit her but we got to see his mom everyday. I wish that we had more photos of the farm but this is it. I can't remember being there any other time than Thanksgiving. We'd see her at Aunt Al's house at Christmas and she'd come up here one or two times. We might've seen more of her when we were younger.

There was a box of toys that she kept in a room that we never went into - or was it just a closet. There was a Pillsbury Dough Boy that I liked playing with and a car attached to a string that my brother pulled around. In another room was a pool table. I was only upstairs in her bedroom once. In the yard near the house was a tree with a swing hanging from a big branch. We would sometimes sit under the dining room table and watch TV. I remember a Hanna Barbera cartoon - The Blue Falcon being on once . My cousin Gene David was taking pictures of the farm one day - it might've been for a class project. We did look at the farm animals sometimes but those memories are hazy.

I can still smell all the good food in my memory. I never tried the turnips or mincemeat pie though. She made excellent apple and pumkin pies. There was about 16 - 20 people at these special dinners. I was upset when the people who owned the land told her that she had to move because they were redoing the house and giving it to their son - I think that's who got the place. They didn't give her much time to find a new house, maybe 2 or 3 months. She moved to Bordentown and was closer to my Aunt Al. My brother and I always thought of her as Grandma at the farm though. We had a few Thanksgivings there but in 1985 it was at my Aunt's house and unfortunatley in 1986 my grandma passed away in early November. We went to a friend of the family's grandmas house that year. It's sad that our family tradition was over.

My grandma made those two snowmen on top of the TV. She did alot of crafts. She taught me how to do a basic crochet stitch and even got me a set of hooks that I still have. My Aunt Al also tried teaching me more about crochet but I was never any good at crafts and gave up on it after making just a blanket and a scarf for my stuffed animals. Maybe if I had tried harder I could've gotten better at it, but I doubt it - I definitely did not inherit the craft genes.

We Miss You, Buffy

It has been nearly a week without a Buffy in our lives and we are still very upset about this. I miss so much about her, even a few of the annoying things like her waking me up at 4 a. m. to be let out. It is just so strange not having her around. Her enthusiatic greeting us when we returned home was always so funny and sweet - her whole butt and little stub would shake and she'd jump around alot. My brother was extremely emotional on her final day. He cried even more than I did. He sometimes used to call her a money pit and waste of money but he must've loved her deep down inside.

We had to wait 45 minutes before the vet came into the room. We did stay for both shots. She went quickly. I wish that we could've had her for a few more months, like up until her 13th birthday but she was getting worse so as sad as this loss is she is no longer suffering. Sometimes Mark, Mom and I pretend that she is still around, like during mealtimes we say " No, Buffy, you can't have people food." We did give her some fruit the last 2 days though.

I wish that I had figured out how to use the videotaping mode on my camera months ago then I could've taken lots of video of Buffy. I didn't even think about doing so until 2 days before we took her to the vets for the last time. Mark used his then but I was telling myself that it would be too complicated to figure out but the day before I was able to do so only I screwed up on 2 or 3 of the clips, changing it from widthwise to sideways partway through. Mom did the same for one clip of me and Buffy together. I did take alot of pictures of her but would've liked to take more. I'm still too upset to put these into our computer.

I keep thinking of all the things we should've done for Buffy, like taking her for walks and brushing her more. She was only on a few walks over the past 6 years. I only brushed her twice in one month. The vet and vet techs and other people have said that we were good owners but both my brother and I believe that we should've been better ones. She was such a sweet, loving girl. She definitely was a grandma's girl, very close to our mom. It was hard for me to even do this post because I'm really emotional about not having our special spaniel in my life anymore.

Goodbye, My Sweet Spaniel

Today is our last full day of having our sweet spaniel Buffy in our lives. These are some pictures of her from about 5 years ago. I have been having trouble focusing on practically everything because my thoughts are full of Buffy memories. I've been taking alot of pictures of her the past 2 days. I wish that I hadn't gone like from 2005 - late 2008 without taking any of her and it was dumb that I hardly took any puppy photos. She is so beautiful, loving and funny. We've been giving her bits of fruit the past week even though she isn't allowed people food. She deserves this. She is the best thing that has happened to me in the past 13 years. I am dreading 2:oo tomorrow afternoon when we have to take her to the vets office and say our final goodbyes to her. I am giving her lots of extra love and attention and we even sat together on the couch for an hour watching part of the Today Show and The Price Is Right. It is going to seem so strange and sad not having her around.

My Buffy's Final Days

Buffy's blood test results were not good 10 days ago. She has been in poor health for the past year and a half but now it's to the point where she's on so many meds and there's no hope of improvement. Mom said that it would be for the best if we have her put to sleep and even the vet agreed. I was hoping that she would be around until at least her 13th birthday in February. The vet said that we have been very good owners but I can't help thinking that I could have done better. I already wrote about the hating myself for not trying the non - steroid allergy med and don't want to get into that again. I feel as if we poisoned her because of this. We will be taking her to the vets on Thursday afternoon and I have been very emotional about this. We will be giving her lots of love and attention and enjoying every last moment with her this week. I love her so much - she is like a member of our family. I have so many good memories of her and will always cherish these. I pray that I get to see her again in the afterlife.

Girl Scout Days

I can't remember exactly what year I first joined the Scouts. It might've been 1976 as a Brownie. I was a Girl Scout up until early 1983. I remember camping trips to Camp Hoover in northern NJ and one at Camp Kettle Run. We went on trips to the Bronx Zoo, Washington D.C and Virginia. I was kind of jealous of one girl who had alot of badges. I still have my sash. The sad thing is that I heard that Girl Scout uniforms will soon no longer even be made in the U.S.A.